You have a choice, you always have a choice
Let's get one thing clear from the get go, I'll always be there for you to the best of my ability, because that's the type of person that I am. If you need something and no one else can help, I'll try my best to help. If you're my friend or girlfriend, I'll be there for you. But the second you start taking me for granted, that is when this deal is off the table.
I have met many, many people in my life on this planet, some good, some bad. I have been through many careers and different types of vocations, and with this came experience. The ability to read people to a degree that proves useful in many situations. The ability to see patterns, to predict an outcome based on previous outcomes etc.
I am in no means an individual who claims to know everything about human behaviour, but I can and do see certain patterns that raise some serious red flags for me in a relationship. You see, when I become too available, too dependable, that is when you take me for granted. I'm not a priority anymore. & who's fault is that? MINE. I have no one to blame but myself.
I have no one to blame but myself. I should've set boundaries in the beginning of what I'm willing to accept and not accept. Alas, I didn't, and now I reap the rewards from that lack of "having the balls to stand up for myself". But all is not lost. I still have a choice, I can still make the right choice even if it is a late one. I have obviously set the standard for treating me the way I get treated. My fault. I have set the standard of letting it be known that no matter what you do, I'll take your crap. I'll have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and I'll swallow it like a good little puppy dog that I am.
ENOUGH!!
This ends here!
You've had your fun, but it's over now. However, there is the chance that you weren't aware that you were taking me for granted. There's a chance that you didn't see what you were doing. Mmm... Maybe the 13478365623953 times I've spoken to you about it didn't register. Is it my fault for not conveying how it made me feel? No, it's not. Because I used just about every word in the English language to explain to you what you are doing is making me feel a certain way, and I've even tried to compromise so to speak.
I've tried to calmly and respectfully inform you that the things you do might be involuntary on your part, but when you do the SAME !@$#@ over and over then that falls uner the intentional category for me. I get it, you think I'll never walk. You think that because I have taken it for so long and because I have forgiven so many times that makes it ok to continue. Let me hit you with some knowledge, it doesn't!
There's a saying that nice guys finish last. In my case, yes, that rings true. I think I'm too nice at times when people take me for granted. You see the thing is, I just cannot stand around and do nothing when I have the means to help someone who needs help. I just cannot. I find it extremely hard not to help someone. & I think that's where the problem comes in, that people see I'm such a nice guy ( even when taken for granted or treated like rhino shit ), and they then continue.
So what is a guy to do huh? Where do you draw the line with people like this? I certainly don't want to become a cold hearted jerk, but then again I don't want to continue being a pushover. & when I try and stand up for myself, the person starts an argument with me making me feel that whatever happened was my fault. Like what the heck. After a while I start thinking that it actually is my fault.
No man, stuff this. You can go take other people for granted but I've had enough. & you know what, if I lose you by saying it ends here, then I see that as a gain, not a loss. Because then I've finally stood up for myself, although very late, but I took that first step. Laugh at me if you want, thinking, "Oh man I did it for so long and played you the fool". That's fine. At least I won't let the next person do it to me. & at least I won't have to put up with it from you anymore.
When I'm not around, maybe then you'll see how you've taken my good nature for granted. But this isn't about me wishing you misfortune, this is about me having enough and having the courage to stand firm and say, "You either start appreciating me, or I walk". No if's, no but's, no nothing. I've pleaded for long enough.
I have spoken. Listen if you have ears!
/rant
