“Never take advice about never taking advice. That is an old vice of men - to dish it out without being able to take it - the blind leading the blind into more blindness.” ― Criss Jami, Healology
Isn’t funny how as kids we ALL generally have some level of aversion towards “rules” and being dictated to. Some handle it better than others…lol
I, was a child that, well… DIDN'T handle it very well at all! I absolutely HATED people telling me what to do and if I am honest… I don’t think much has changed. At the age of 37, I can still quite confidently say that having to surrender to somebody else’s will when I don’t agree with it, REALLY doesn’t sit well with me and is unlikely to happen.
I have bucked the system my entire life! If I was supposed to go left, I went right. If somebody tried to advise me on a decision I would intentionally choose not to take their advice purely because I felt like I hadn’t made up my mind for myself. Age and a little bit of experience however, has taught me that this is not always wise – especially when the advice offered is fairly sound – but hey… we live and learn, don’t we. Hehe!
I can recall an incident when I was about 5 years old… I was given a little bit of “spending money” and off to do the grocery shopping my mom and I headed. Smarties were my favourite chocolate at the time and so I said I wanted to buy a box of Smarties with my money…
My mom said that was fine, but as we approached the check out, I noticed a pretty little notepad. I said to my mom that I wanted the notepad too. My mom explained to me that I did not have enough money for both… so I had a decision to make… which I was in the process of trying to do, when the lady behind the checkout attempted to advise me… “Why don’t you take the notepad, it will last longer” she said. Well… the mere fact that she had not only reminded me that I could not have both but had also interfered in my decision making process really upset me and I replied “shut up”.
Well, obviously I ended up with neither the Smarties nor the notepad. Haha!
I don’t think I have ever seen my mother so angry… and the punishment was one which I remember vividly to this day. When we got home, I was made to empty my ENTIRE bedroom of absolutely EVERY single toy, and anything else that resembled something I could play with. I had to pack it all into my parents’ bedroom. Then I was told to go and stay in my bedroom until I was sorry for what I did.
Into the bedroom I went, and the door was closed. I screamed, I kicked the door, then I cried and cried some more. Then I sulked and then I passed out in front of my door. When I woke up, I can remember the remorse I felt for what I had done… not so much because of my mom’s reprimand… but because of how I felt inside. I went to apologise and then I was made to pack everything back into my room.
Whilst I will never, EVER forget that moment and the lesson in it… the “headstrong” and VERY determined aspect of my nature is DEFINITELY still alive and kicking – it has just been somewhat groomed over the years. Lol (Well, just a little)
I have learnt that this trait of determination and “WILL” is not a bad one, but a balance needs to be struck. You need to learn that there are certain boundaries that you needn’t and often shouldn’t cross, no matter HOW strongly you feel about something! – Disrespecting others and their voice is most definitely one of those lines and shutting them down or out is just plain stupid!
Opinionated and driven people (including myself) often struggle with accepting or even momentarily entertaining the opinions or advice of others because, our way is always the best one – right?!
Wrong!
The fact of the matter is that you need to learn how to be driven, determined AND smart!
Every SINGLE person alive has a unique skill set and as much as you might believe that you could very well learn and master each and every one of them (which is not necessarily untrue), the reality is, the likelihood of this actually happening is minimal… So –
Learning when to shut up and actually listen, can be enormously useful!
“Sometimes an outside perspective is the clearer perspective.” ― Shannon A. Thompson, Seconds Before Sunrise
Your natural determination and WILL, combined not only with YOUR knowledge and experience but that of another’s too, is nine times out of ten, a win, win! And if nothing else… you will have gained an additional perspective on the matter and believe me… having a multi-faceted perspective on things is probably one of the most powerful tools you could ever possess.
You are entitled to stand fast in your opinion but added information is NEVER a disadvantage and learning to put your EGO to sleep for a few minutes, while you open your ears, will ONLY EVER stand you in good stead!
“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” ― Will Rogers
There is no such thing as bad knowledge – whether you agree with it or not… it’s all about what you choose to DO with it!
There is something which I have found myself saying more frequently here on Steemit these days more than I ever have are a few words which I read somewhere… (Cannot actually remember precisely where if I am honest)…
“Take from it what you will – and leave the rest.”
This is how you GROW!
If you don’t ever take the time to hear the opinions of others – how will you know if they had something useful to offer?
Until next time...
Much Love from Cape Town, South Africa xxx
