Old friends remember when you were broke. Family remembers when you were messy or difficult to deal with. Whatever version they have of you, it’s locked in their minds. So when you start to level up and break out of that mold, it can feel threatening to them. They weren’t there during the long hours you spent grinding, failing, learning, and rebuilding. They didn’t witness the sacrifices or the discipline behind the scenes.
Because they missed that part of your journey, they may view your success as unearned. You’ll hear whispers of:
"Why did they get that and not me?"
"I work harder than they do."
They don’t even know the truth of what you went through. But they start to resent the gap between the version of you that exists in their head and the version standing in front of them today. On the other hand — if you have friends who stayed close, who watched you struggle and persevere, they will often celebrate with you. They were emotionally invested in the journey. When you win, it feels like they won too.
I remember this firsthand. When I bought my first car — one I worked extremely hard for and paid for in cash — I saw both sides. Some people were jealous. But others, the ones who saw me riding my bike back and forth to two jobs every day, were genuinely proud and excited for me. They knew what it took. But not everyone will be like that. If they didn’t see the grind, there’s no emotional investment — and to them, it looks like an overnight change, even if it took you 10 years.
You can’t control any of this.
Your success can also trigger their own shame or feelings of inadequacy. They start thinking about the time they wasted, the risks they didn’t take, the opportunities they let pass. It’s easier to resent you than to face their own regrets. Because the truth is — success often does require risk. And those unwilling to take those risks will sometimes project that frustration onto you.