The world we currently live in encourages a lot of oversharing. People post incredibly personal things on social media just to get likes. Recently, there was a trend on TikTok—some kind of song, maybe with a picture of a Muppet—where people shared extremely personal stuff that they probably should have kept to themselves. To be fair, some of these videos came from more anonymous accounts. These people weren’t big creators, but you never know when that kind of content might resurface later.
It can come off as validation-seeking.
While some people overshare without any negative intent, it can sometimes appear as if they are seeking validation. Without realizing it, we can share so much that it becomes off-putting for others. If you’re really close with someone—like a best friend or a family member—this isn’t a big deal. Everyone needs validation sometimes. But if you don’t know the person well, oversharing can feel awkward and even exhausting for them.
Unfortunately, some people try to seek validation without being aware of it. For example, you might subtly put yourself down to get the other person to compliment you or disagree with your self-criticism. If you notice people avoiding you or not wanting to spend time with you, this may be something to reflect on.
It may seem like you don’t respect boundaries.
Oversharing personal details can sometimes violate boundaries, especially if you’re not close to the person or haven’t reached that level of the relationship. For instance, it’s unsettling when an employee shares something deeply personal with their boss, especially if they aren’t close. This kind of behavior might make others avoid you because it feels like too much information (TMI).
I once worked with someone who did this regularly. I barely knew her, but she opened up to me a lot right away. At first, it felt flattering because she seemed comfortable with me, but eventually, I started wondering why she was sharing such personal details. Depending on the context, others might assume you’re trying to stir up drama or create problems, which is definitely not how you want to be perceived.
It can appear as attention-seeking.
Sometimes, when we feel unnoticed or unimportant, we share outlandish or overly personal things to draw attention. While this might work occasionally, doing it too often can make people uncomfortable. It might even come across as desperate, especially in situations where the focus should be on someone else, like a wedding or baby shower.
If you repeatedly make conversations about yourself, people may feel you’re trying to overshadow others or shift the focus unnecessarily. It’s important to be mindful of timing and context.
It can create imbalanced communication.
Good conversations are like playing catch—there’s a natural back-and-forth. You share a little, they share a little, and it builds over time. If you overshare without giving the other person a chance to reciprocate, the communication becomes one-sided.
When this happens, the other person might feel unheard or unimportant, and it could make you seem selfish or self-absorbed. To avoid this, ask questions and show interest in the other person’s life. Even if they’re naturally quiet or reserved, taking the time to get to know them helps balance the conversation.
It can feel like you’re forcing the connection. When we’re excited about building a relationship, we may want to skip small talk and dive into deeper topics. However, pushing too hard can have the opposite effect. Oversharing personal information too soon can make others uncomfortable, especially if they feel pressured to form a close bond quickly.
Sometimes, oversharing might give the impression that you don’t have other close relationships, which can come across as desperation. It’s better to let relationships develop naturally, even if you’re eager. This applies to friendships too—patience is key.
Final Thoughts
People who overshare are often perceived as lacking close relationships or appearing desperate, which can push others away. Human relationships don’t thrive under pressure. It’s important to step back, relax, and let connections grow at their own pace.
Instead of forcing relationships, focus on being receptive. If someone reaches out to you, respond warmly and reciprocate, but avoid overwhelming them with too much information. Letting relationships develop organically is almost always the better approach.