Hey folks,
So, we have all had those days when we are really down and just sick of life but it’s really surprising how half the time we ourselves are the reason of that unhappiness. Here are five of the things I came up with that almost all of us do obliviously which make us miserable. Before reading this I want you to put your defense mechanisms down and hear me out:
• Expecting to control every person and situation around us:
Yup! We all can be HUGE control freaks sometimes. (Admit it!!) In both our personal and professional lives, we expect certain people to do certain things. But what we need to remind ourself, although it’s extremely hard to accept, is that we can never control PEOPLE and SITUATIONS. WE CAN NEVER CONTROL PEOPLE AND CIRCUMSTANCES NO MATTER HOW HARD WE TRY. It is OK to have expectations of people but along with that, understand that people will not always fulfill those expectations. The ONLY thing we get to control in this world is how we react to situations and honestly, you throwing a fit over things is not really solving anything.
• Comparing ourselves to others:
I feel like in the current day and age, this is mostly the fault of social media because it is so easy to sit back and scroll through Facebook and Instagram and envy everybody else. What we are forgetting here is that we as humans have the tendency to compare people’s ‘highlight reel’ to our ‘blooper reel’ (If ya’ll know what I’m saying…….)because nobody’s life is as WONDERFUL as it seems on social media……..we are not really as happy and perfect as our Instagram’s make us look. Everyone has their own path because everyone is different and in a world with 7.6 billion people it’s crazy to think that everyone is going to get from A to B while using that same road. It does not even make sense for us to compare ourselves to each other. I suck at some things and I am good at some things. This is everyone’s story.
• Viewing mistakes and hard times negatively:
Now this is going to be REAL TALK. How do you know not to touch the stove when it’s on? Chances are you got burnt when you were younger and now you know, if you touch it, it’s going to hurt. You would NEVER have known that had you not burnt yourself in the first place. As humans, we learn THROUGH mistakes. How do you know how to walk? Chances are you fell a couple hundred times (on your butt….ouch!!!) as a toddler. Now that concept does not change over time. From the moment you were born to the moment you will die, you will always learn things BECAUSE you messed them up in the first place or somebody hurt you. Take a second and look back at every lesson you have ever learned in your life and I can guarantee you, that lesson is founded on foolish mistakes, heartache and tears. If you have learned who to trust, it is probably because someone lied to you. If you have learned how to be positive, it’s probably because you have been through a whole lot of negative. (And of course if you have the ‘Find my Iphone’ App on your Iphone, it’s probably because you lost your Iphone.)So when you make a mistake or you fail or you are heartbroken, make sure you cry a lot and be sad about it, but also be 10% happy because this is going to teach you something AMAZING that will help you in the future. There is a huge silver lining to everything. Picture it as exercise for your soul, if that makes it any easier.
• Ignoring your closest friend:
We are so busy idolizing celebrities, daydreaming about our crushes, prioritizing our besties and consuming ourselves with media that we ignore our closest friend: OURSELVES. Now as my fourteen year old self sees it, people are wonderful…..they are like cherries on top of an already delicious sundae. They are bonus. But the person you should be relying on most in this life, is YOU.Why? Simply because no one knows you as well as you know yourself. No one can read your mind, no one knows your greatest fears, no can hear all those irritating little voices inside of your head. For that reason, no one can be a better friend to you than….YOU. It is very important to talk to yourself, love yourself, be your own friend, and be on the same page as yourself. Have your own back because no matter how popular you are, at some point in your life, you will find yourself alone in a room, feeling really lonely. It’s in your best interest to be friends with the ONLY person in that room: YOU.
• Surrounding ourselves with hopelessness and negativity:
Negativity is like a contagious disease. If you hang around it, chances are you will experience it. It’s really simple, if u don’t want to experience negative feelings don’t hang around negative people who talk negative crap.Don’t hang around people who gossip. Don’t hang around people who put you down. Don’t hang around groups of people who hate other groups of people. And you yourself don’t speak ill about anyone else. If the people around you don’t make you smile and inspire you, then you are around the wrong people. If you don’t want to be wet, then simply get out of the rain. It’s a very simple concept: surround yourself by people who reflect who YOU want to be and how you want to FEEL; positive energy is contagious too.
Sending positive vibes your way,
Khadija