"Receptivity represents the feminine, receptive quality of water and of the emotions. Her arms are extended upwards to receive, and she is completely immersed in the water. She has no head, no busy and aggressive mind to hinder her pure receptivity. And as she is filled she is continuously emptying herself, overflowing, and receiving more. The lotus pattern or matrix that emerges from her represents the perfect harmony of the universe that becomes apparent when we are in tune with it.
The Queen of Water brings a time of unboundedness and gratitude for whatever life brings, without any expectations or demands. Neither duty or thought of merit or reward are important. Sensitivity, intuition and compassion are the qualities that shine forth now, dissolving all the obstacles that keep us separate from each other and from the whole."
The intention I held within me while pulling this card today was for support with the experience I have towards the words 'responsibility' and 'obligation'. I can describe the experience with the words 'rigid', 'stiff', 'difficult', 'burdened', 'pressure' and 'overwhelm'.
In looking at these words, I find immense support in this card today, as the qualities of water are the polar opposite of the words I have been living in relation to responsibilities and obligations. The words I think of when I think of water are 'fluid' and 'flowing', and not just in the literal sense, and the card brings in the word 'receptivity'.
When I look at my relationship to responsibilities and obligations, 'receptive' is the last thing I feel. The overriding sensation is that 'it is too much', and 'maybe I can squeeze in one more task', or 'I will take that on', where it is me being hard on myself, as well as full of demands and expectations, which the card also highlights as something to let go.
Interestingly, I did an experiment today. I gave myself a 'day off'. This was not necessarily a day off from 'work', which I classify as those obligations and responsibilities which I give myself during the day as a point of discipline that I am developing, and also the self-work that is a 24 hour job, but a 'day off' from my mind, where I imposed no expectations or demands on myself for the entire day.
It was difficult at first, as I felt things would fall apart and I would fall behind, I felt some anxiety about not being 'productive', but I was able to let it go. What happened was that I got to spend a lot more time with other beings, be it human, nature or animals. I chatted a lot with my housemates, I spent time in nature, I went for a walk and a swim with a 4 year old, I played with dogs and spent time with the baby chickens and the horses. All day I felt light and un-burdened. The pressure would come up, but I would let it go.
Normally, in my life back in Canada, this type of spontaneous day would not be possible. But here, I allowed myself to indulge. To support myself, I brought through the experience I have while on vacation into my life here. That relaxed, easy, almost indulgent experience within the stand that I take of: "I am here to enjoy myself." I got this idea from a video I watched by Sunette Spies on her Self & Living channel, which I highly recommend for daily support and insights. The point here is to bring that of you that you live while on vacation into your life at home. This way, you are not one person in one place, and another person in a different place, but rather getting to know yourself in different locations while expanding yourself by integrating all of you no matter where you happen to be.
The word the card gives me that was an experience I had not defined today within the experiment is 'receptive'. I allowed and engaged with whatever came my way. Normally when the child I live with comes to me wanting to play, I feel pressure like it is taking my time away, and I make designated play time, or impose a time limit. But today I just went with the flow and played. Then, at one point, I was collecting my empty bins from the chicken yard (chickens are free-range so the door is always open during the day), and as I was there, I took a moment to enjoy the detail of the view of the field. Right away I spotted a daiker (a small deer, Africans for 'diver', because that's what they look like they are doing when jumping through the tall grass). He looked right at me, and started walking towards me. My heart began beating with excitement, but I calmed myself a stood still, simply admiring the elegance and gracefulness in the movements of the animal. I was wondering how close he would get, and to my surprise, he walked right into the coop with me! The moment seemed to stretch out for an eternity, but with one movement of my head, he was gone. It was like a small gift from nature in a moment of receptivity.
So the lessen I will take from today is 'receptivity', which comes from flowing with the day, with obligations and responsibilities, but no imposed demands or expectations. I will support myself to do this by bringing the remembrance of who an dhow I am while on vacation to remind myself that I am capable of being here to enjoy myself. It will be a process to balance the two polarities into a living application that is best for me, but the alternative is the stiff harshness I impose on myself when I do not direct my daily experience.