Sitting in the car today as my oldest drove me to her drop off location (working on those driving permit hours), we had a very interesting conversation. We were discussing the realities of environments.
This summer she has been doing an internship at our church. She has worked on photoshop projects, creating signage, t shirt designs, video editing. She and the other interns got to enjoy mentorship, group book studies, sleep away camps, and pretty rigorous physical training as they prepared to climb Pikes Peak a couple weeks ago. It has been an extremely life giving and healthy environment. Excellent high school and college age kids who have purpose, gathered together to grow and learn 30-40 hours a week. She's been in heaven. I asked her today how she feels like she's grown or changed during the last two months. She highlighted some personal things, but she spent quite a bit of time discussing how the environment had affected her perspective. She shared that being surrounded by people who are intentionally choosing to make healthy choices, but also to be life giving in their interactions, has made her feel more confident and comfortable to just be herself. I have noticed such a maturity and relaxed joy develop in her. I would have never referred to her as a stressed out child before, she has a very laid back personality, but this is a deeper peace. A genuine comfort in just being in her own skin.
Then we began talking about school starting up again, and the very different environment that awaits her there. School can be stressful, competitive, overwhelming, discouraging and sometimes the kids are downright rude. It's not a place where the kids are trying to develop their best selves. They are trying to survive and keep their heads above water.
I asked her how she was planning to not only hold on to the growth she's absorbed this summer when she is at school, but also how she can permeate the unhealthy culture with the health inside of her.
The culture you believe you have inside of you will be the culture you reproduce around you. What you believe about yourself will determine how you behave.
When we believe that we have something to offer, we tap into that goodness and share it. When we are blind to our own value and power in a situation, we shrink back and get carried away by the current that's already there. We are each uniquely and brilliantly able to have a positive impact on any room we enter. Some of us just need to realize it.
She shared some of the dynamics that are different at school than at her internship. Negativity, complaining, comparison, insulting jokes, and a general atmosphere of stress. Kids always feeling a little behind, or a little less than. They feel behind in their studies, social status, looks, sports acumen, or even simply in just having friends. Real friends. Even just one other student to be nice, to be in their corner. As she shared these complexities, I encouraged her that the culture she has absorbed all summer, she now has the power to project.
Be the kind voice. See the kid who is left out and pay them a compliment. When the whole class is complaining and descending into the abyss of negativity, say something positive. Find the good in people and tell them you see it. When you see someone struggling with peer pressure, tell them you know they are strong. Always be the most encouraging voice in the room.
Give courage away freely. Give hope. Smile.
It is truly amazing how much we can affect environments when we choose to. How our simple decision to add, rather than take, can ripple into so many lives. We can change the environments we are in. We can make a difference. We can add joy and life.
You can be the change. You have so much good to give away