Not all of us are naturally sociable, but we all need a society of people and human love. Everyone can have and maintain friendly relations, although someone, perhaps, will need a little more effort. Before convincing yourself that you are a loner, read this article because it will tell you how to find friends and communicate with people if you are shy, timid and even pessimistic.
Learn to cope with your insecurities. If you are constantly critical of yourself and always tell yourself that you do not like anyone and that no one wants to be near you, people will feel it and they will be repulsed. Before you start building relationships, you need to believe that you can really do it.
Shy people tend to avoid contact in society, because they are always afraid of negative consequences. Do not think through possible scenarios and simply let things go their way.
Tell yourself that you are sociable. Even if at first it will be difficult for you to believe this, the more often you tell yourself that you can make friends, that you are interesting to others, the easier it will be for you to communicate with people. Repeat this every day. If you suddenly start to think badly about yourself, immediately correct yourself and return to positive thoughts.
Make a list of your positive qualities. Whichever person you are, you necessarily have good qualities that you could share. Make a list of those qualities in yourself that other people could appreciate: for example, you can be trusted, you have a good sense of humor, you are smart, and so on. Do not concentrate on unreal values (for example, on money or appearance).
Keep a positive mood. Remember that a negative attitude towards yourself is a choice: no one is born destined to be depressed. However, it will take some time for you to learn to look at life with different eyes.
Try to find advantages in everything.
It is important to demonstrate a positive attitude to life in conversations with others. Nobody wants to communicate with people who constantly complain about their failures, and especially it concerns communicating with new people: tell them about something good that happened in your life, but do not talk about the bad, and you will see how people will reach out to you, how they will try to find out about you something else.
Do not judge others. Nobody is perfect, even you. If you wait for ideal people to appear in your life, you can wait a very long time. This does not mean that you should start a relationship with everyone you meet, but you should always try to get to know a person better before deciding to stop communicating with him.
Your friends may be different from you. In fact, the most lasting relationships often have people with opposite characters and tastes. Do not push people out just because you have different tastes in music or political views. What matters is how you feel in this person's society.
Be sincere in a relationship. In order to build real friendships, you must strive for mutual trust. Ask people how they do, and listen carefully to what they say to you. Offer help if someone shares their problems with you, and never discuss what you were told about with others.