"It does not hurt to forgive". Easier said than done right? Especially if you have been in a situation where someone hurt you really bad. Everytime you see this person who hurt you, you get so mad especially if you have not forgiven them.Forgiveness might be difficult, but I am saying it does not hurt because it sets you free.
To learn how to forgive, you have to learn what forgiveness is not. Forgiveness is not pretending like the incident never happened or excusing the person for their actions. Forgiveness is not forgetting what the person did to you. Forgiveness is not something you do for the other person,forgiveness is something you do for yourself. Forgiveness is a decision and not a feeling. Your decision to forgive someone should superceed the pain that you feel because of what they did to you.
Now that you know what forgiveness is,whenever forgiveness feels impossible. Try these three steps;
1) Acknowledge that you have been hurt:In other to forgive, you have to accept what happened, you have to acknowledge that you have been hurt. Pretending that you were not hurt or ignoring your feelings will not make you feel any better. To be able to forgive, you have to accept how you feel about the situation.
2)Accept the growth that occurred as a result of what you learnt from the incident:There must be something you must have learnt from the pain someone caused you. It could be how to set your boundaries or how to treat others better. Accept what you learnt and the thankful because it's going to help you grow. You know what they say, "every challenge we go through,makes us stronger".
3)Put yourself in the shoes of the person that hurt you:No one is perfect, we all make mistakes,sometimes they don't just know how to treat us better. Because of this, learn to cut them some slack and consider forgiving them.
Always remember that forgiveness does not hurt rather it sets you free from being bound to what happened and it shows that you deserve to be happy and are willing to do something about your happiness. Yes, you will remember what happened even after you have forgiven the person,but if you have genuinely forgiven the person,you will not feel any resentment or have any ill feelings towards them.
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