I read the following story on Stoicism(Link in the footnote). I do not agree with everything said but there are lessons I want to implement in my life. Thank you Louis Chew for writing this. I have read opinions on Stoicism from time to time and this was a gentle reminder. I have listed down my interpretation of the points I care about from the article and how I will implement them in life.
1. Control How I React to Events in Life:
“Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them.” — Epictetus
We cannot control majority of life event. What we can control is how we react to them. I have practiced this time to time in minor situations and I benefited from it.
The other day, a car did not yield at a crosswalk while I was crossing. My first reaction was annoyance. Then I did a quick introspection and just wave at the guy with a smile and it turned into a positive interaction for both the parties involved. If I would have decided to be angry about it, it could have affected my entire morning if not the whole day. I saved myself from an unproductive and foul morning. How? Just by choosing to react differently in this situation.
2. Take Control of My Time
“We’re tight-fisted with property and money, yet think too little of wasting time, the one thing about which we should all be the toughest misers.” — Seneca
Time is the most important asset we have in this life. I have become very reactive to the demands put on my time by outer factors. One habit, I have decided to change is not have my cell phone in our bedroom. When I wake up, I think and write about things I want to accomplish that day. If you have your cell phone right next to you, you will check all the events, email, and news that happened over the time you were sleeping. Your day will in response to those events instead of the things you want to accomplish. Take control of your time.
3. Develop an Interval Value System
“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others.” — Marcus Aurelius
This will be the hardest habit to form. We are driven by our desires to be liked by other people. This was important to some extent during our caveman days, where not liked by others could lead to living and dying alone in wilderness. We have developed strong social systems, that can give us the luxury to live our life on our own terms to some extent. In order to get there I will develop in internal value system. This will make me help decisions based on what matters to me vs what others will think about my actions.
This is about not trying to live a certain life because that is what will make people like me. I have had much deeper relationships with people I have known before I started making money. I do not want to see money as evil, but solely relying on money or things to fit in is toxic.
One more thing, for me, having a strong value system does not mean I should not have empathy. Empathy could be one of the strong pillars of your value system and can guide you to deeper and richer relationships.
4. Stay Focused and Act With Purpose
“If a person doesn’t know to which port they sail, no wind is favourable.” — Seneca
This goes hand in hand with developing an internal value system. I want to guide my purpose based on what I care about in this life. I want to reduce reactions and increase my pro-activeness. Pro-activeness will come from understanding what I want/value.
This does not mean I should let go of being spontaneous. Spontaneous action will be guided by my value system. It should lead for richer life.
5. Learn a Thing a Day
“Throw out your conceited opinions, for it is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows.” — Epictetus
I love learning so this one is the easiest. I want to form a habit of learning though. For last 2 days, I have purposefully dedicated 2 hours a day to learn something I did not know. Eventually, I want to tie this with my value system and long term goals.
6. Write Everyday
“No man was ever wise by chance” — Seneca
Write everyday and this post is part of it.
7. Only Change is Permanent
“Alexander the Great and his mule driver both died and the same thing happened to both.” — Marcus Aurelius
We are constantly changing with our experiences. I am generally very comfortable with changes, so this one comes naturally to me. I grew up in India, where nothing changes but everything is changing constantly. India ingrained this to my psyche really well. More importantly, I want to be more purposeful about not holding on to things bygone.
These are my actions towards, more purposeful life.
Call to Action:
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