Are there any temptations in your life that keep you from reaching certain goals?
For example, are you ever tempted to snack late in the evening?
Are you trying to avoid eating desserts, but often falter when a dessert is presented to you?
Do you find it hard to stay on track in your workouts?
There are two words that can help.
Before I reveal what those two words are, though, I want to mention that, as a pastor, I obviously believe that God can help in these matters. But I want to distinguish between temptations dealing with matters of sin—moral issues—and temptations dealing with issues that are not necessarily issues of morality. In this post, I'll deal with the later.
Ok, ready to hear what the two words are?
The Power of Two Words
I can't vs I don't.
The Journal of Consumer Research posted the results of a fascinating study that you need to check out. Notice from the intro:
"Being able to effectively say 'no' to temptation is a critical skill required for consumer health and well-being. Distractions and temptations often sway consumers away from the goals they desire to achieve, and consequently much extant research has been devoted to identifying factors that enable consumers to resist temptation and pursue their long-term goals."
Sound like it might be helpful? Read on.
In this study, 120 students were placed into two group and were told that each time they faced a temptation, they were to tell themselves "I don't do x" or "I can't do x" depending on the group. They were told to rehearse the strategy: "...when you are tempted by an unhealthy snack, you say 'I don't eat X.'" The other group was told to rehearse the other strategy, "I can't eat X."
After evaluating how the students felt when rehearsing such strategies, they were told the study was over and that they could leave. On their way out, the students were asked to choose between two snacks as a token of appreciation: a chocolate candy bar or granola bar. The participants didn't know, but what they chose was also part of the study.
Can you imagine the results?
The participants who said "I can't eat X" chose the chocolate bar 61% of the time. Whereas those who said I don't eat X" only chose the chocolate bar 36% of the time.
Let's look at it another way. Only 39% of those coached with "I can't" were able to say no to the candy bar and chose the healthier option. Whereas those who were coached with "I don't," 64% were able to say no.
That's a huge difference.
The researchers also wanted to examine how these phrases could work over a longer period of time, so a group of participants were asked to come back and identify a health and wellness goal they wanted to achieve. They were to report on their progress every day for 10 days. When tempted to lapse on their goal, they were coached to tell themselves one of three things.
Group 1 was to "just say no."
Group 2 was told to use the "I can't" strategy.
Group 3 was told to use the "I don't" strategy.
The results were fascinating and confirmed their earlier results:
In Group 1, the "just say no" group, only 3 out of 10 participants were able to follow through with their goals for the 10 days.
In Group 2, the "I can't" group, only 1 out of 10 participants were able to follow through with their goals for the 10 days.
But in Group 3, 8 out of 10 participants were able to follow through with their goals for the 10 days.
Think about that.
Astounding.
Why Words Make a Difference
The reason why these words make a difference deals with issues of empowerment.
I can't is a word and a limitation that someone else seemingly places upon you.
I don't is different. That's something you decide. It's empowering. You're in charge and you have taken control.
How Can This Make a Difference In Your Life?
Think about your goals.
What are you trying to achieve? Now, think through the hindrances and temptations to those goals that often appear in the way.
Maybe yours might sound like one of these:
I don't procrastinate.
I don't miss workouts.
I don't eat desserts.
I don't eat past 5pm.
Want to know what it sounds like for me?
In this and this post, I discuss some dietary changes I've made. I've moved to a plant-based diet.
I don't eat eggs.
I don't eat past 4pm during the week.
I could list quite a few other ones as well
Now that you've determined what those things are for you, you need to write them down and chose some ways to remind yourselves of them.
Print them out and put them up on your fridge.
Write it on your bathroom mirror.
Have it pop up on a reminder app on your smartphone.
Whatever it might be, these two simple words can make a tremendous difference in your life.
So what do you think? What are some goals you're trying to achieve and what are some temptations? Share in the comments below.
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[image by Estée Janssens]