Have no expectation whatsoever!
That's the most valuable life lesson I ever learnt. It took me close to twenty years to learn that. Not to expect anything from anyone! Not to assume that someone would return a favour or would do for me what I have done for them. Nada! Nil!
Some people discover this way earlier in life, while others never do and continue to have others influence their chance to happiness.
There is a close link between happiness and expectations. When you have expectations, your goals and everything else is planned, set. You assume everything will come out according to your wishes, as if life had no deviations.
From a scientific point view, expectation never comes into play. Since the expectations are not there, what you are looking at are facts, and those facts are what leads to a result. The outcome is dictated by the facts.
If you have an expectation, you become static. Therefore the outcome has no room to move, as you have a set target and that’s what you expect to happen. When you let your emotions dictate the outcome, you can't have a fair chance at happiness.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom on a perfect summer day, that I really grasped what all that entailed. They say people don’t change unless they witness traumatic experience or life-threatening situations. I agree with that. That day I experienced both. I touched fingers with death and no one cared. No one moved a finger to change anything about it or to come to my rescue.
What I found astonishing was the fact that Life went on, even if my life was hanging by a thread. The sun still shone, the birds continued to chirp and people carried on with their chores.
When the pink glasses came off and I found myself all alone with no one to ask for help and no place to call home, I had two choices: make it or break it. I chose to be a warrior and fight for my beliefs instead of being a victim and drowning in self pity.
It was frustrating and nerve wrenching to see that all those that I have helped or cared for did not do anything to help me. Those who really cared or loved me were hundreds of miles away and could not have done anything for me anyway because of the distance between us.
When that happened I had mixed feelings. I was boiling inside like a pressure cooker. I went from anger to rage and revenge before I finally understood and accepted that all the strength and help I needed were inside me, that I had it all along.
That day I lost and found myself. I lost the fear and the expectation, two things that had shaped my behaviour prior to that moment.
Once I was able to understand that I had to rely solely on my own, I felt as if a huge weight fell off my shoulders. It was an empowering moment that enabled me to change my life and literally walk away from everything I had, owned and known in order to start new.
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