I don't know when or how it started. But for the past few years, I have been wondering how much free will humans actually have - if they have it at all. Do we really have free will? Well, the knee-jerk answer to that is yes, we do have free will. We do not jump to this conclusion because it is the truth, no. It is chosen because it gives us power and makes us feel in control.
But lately, I have been feeling different; like that answer is wrong despite how good it feels. I have had the feeling that we actually do not have free will. This is not a happy conclusion for me as it has thrown my world into turmoil. So much of my philosophy was built on the idea that I do have power over the choices I make but that is all tumbling down. It's not beautiful, it's ugly; it's not empowering, it's disarming. But the worst part of it all is that I can't change now.
Yes, we do make choices but when you look at it, these choices are influenced by things we have no control over - pre-existing thought patterns that could be choked up to genetics, our natural mental wiring, and our environment.
What is your favourite colour? Is it red, blue, or pink? What is your favourite type of music? Rock, RnB, Hip-Hop? Do you like coffee? Whatever your answers are, you will agree that you did not choose these preferences. You just found that blue appeals to you as a colour or that Rock appeals to you as a music genre.
But then how much do such little things influence the choices we make?
The illusion of choice can also be seen in matters of the heart. You can't choose who to love. In most cases, you meet them, talk to them, like them, talk to them some more, share a few moments with them and boom! You love them. But, you never made a conscious choice to fall for them. But then ask yourself how much your love for them will affect the choices you make. Are you really free?