What if one decision could change the outcome of your entire life?
Often times I think about the past and wonder, what if I did that one small thing differently? Where would my life be today? Would I be happier, sadder? It really makes me wonder how outcomes of certain situations effect your life.
When I was in middle school I began hanging out with completely different people and this as stupid as it sounds changed my life and mindset on life completely, before I was a happy kid without a care in the world sure I was bullied a tiny bit starting around 4th grade but it didn't even come close to what I dealt with during middle school. I started becoming an insecure shy and lonely kid. The kids I hung out with took advantage of me and long story short pretended to be my friend for four years by covering up the bullying saying they were joking. The day I found that out devastated me, I wanted to end my life but didn't
High school comes along and for the first two years I didn't really have many friends sure I hung out with people but not often, I didn't have that group that everyone needed. Around junior year I finally found that group by befriending a kid a knew from childhood from him I met many more people and was happy for while. However, the tormenting and joking around as they called it began again. My confidence shrieked even more as I was told I wast good enough, stupid and that no girl would want me. As many groups do we blew up and went our separate ways. The story does not end here though.
One day I was sitting alone during my free period and noticed a kid I just knew around from school and started talking to him. A few mins after another kid joined us. He was the kid who sat behind my sophomore year in history class. From that sparked some of the best friendships I had in years. I met more people through him and finally had people who wouldn't judge or criticize everything I did. Sure it wasn't perfect I still had my insecurities but it was the happiest I had been in a long time.
Through this sparked a need of change during college. I turned down admission to two schools that would have seemed more attractive to most people for one I felt more at home at. Again however after first semester I thought I made a mistake, I wasn't making many friends or connecting with the people in my dorm. I thought I made a huge mistake. I decided to give it another semester and hope for the best. It was probably the best decision of my life. I decided to join a fraternity and see what it would be like. Sure enough I got a bid and was put through my pledging process at times I thought I wanted to drop and I almost did but I kept through it to prove my to myself I was good enough, and I was I made it all the way to initiation which to be honest was the best day of my life. From that day on I had a group of friends for life who would carry me to my grave when I pass.
So this makes me wonder what if all those years ago I didn't hang out with those new kids in middle school and stuck with my old friends. Would I still be where I am today? Would I be different? Would I have reconnected with the kid who sat behind me in history sophomore year? Would I even be at the same college? No one knows, it could have been worse, it could have been better. All I know is everything I went through prepared me to be who I am today and to be honest I don't think Id be where I am had I not gone through the things I did when I was younger