A lot of things happening around us; things that can make you happy or the scary ones that can fall you off into the cliff of nothingness.
In order to grow, a man should understand the life beneath. All of us have been in different struggles and circumstances, and nobody can escape it. Believe it or not, I have understood life at my very young age. My life experiences has really taught me well; my innocence have been broken as early as in grade school.
I grew up where discipline is really a big deal; a small mistake has an equivalent terror. I am loved, of course, but things went out from the line. I am the eldest in the family and my mom and dad were not in our side, they were working in the city. They are not aware of what was happening around us. But I stood still, and fought ...not to the ones who raised us, but to myself.
I almost drowned into the deep well of depression...
Depression happens not in instance, it will take several years. I have treated by my guardians so badly that even myself today, I can still feel all the pain they have given to me.
I was beaten up by their slack's belt, full of slaps in the face, foul words in almost every little mistakes I've made, and tremendous shoutings that even the other countryside could hear. The worst thing that I will never forget was that they tried to pack all of my things and throw away outside. I really cried loud as what I have remembered begging for them. That's why most of the time, I regret why I became the eldest before.
Every single day, I am learning to forgive, I hope I can find it soon so that I can have my inner peace. I am too young to suffer from depression, I have so many goals in life and time after time, my mind is interrupted by my past.
My Advice to the Foster Children who became Youths now and facing the same situation with me before...
I know I am not in the line to say this, but you have to wake up. I know too who I am to tell you this, but you must continue your life.
A lot of reports of mistreated adopted children are happening around the world, and thank goodness there are groups of people who are willing to help and give a hand and aid to them. Thank you familyprotection for your initiatives and missions.
"Children who have been in foster care were seven times more likely to develop depression and five times more likely to have an anxiety." Medical News Today
The vulnerability of a child depression in foster care is higher compared living with their parents in home. I was depressed, how much more to them? How scary could it be.
I don't have the same experience with them, but somehow I can feel their pains. Here are my advises...
Cry.
Believe me, it will ease the pain inside. Put away everything in every single tear you are going to throw with your beautiful eyes. I'll be honest, I am a man, but I cried many times in my existence. I cry alone, but not in the front of people. Everybody has no excuse in crying, especially when you are carrying the weight of the world. Crying really helped me in times of my lowest point of my life and so to you too.
Get away, have some fresh air.
Your past happened years ago and yet you can't still forget every single detail of it. Try to get away from all the things that will remind you from the pain, and face it back then until you are ready or at least lessened.
Compare yourself between who you are today and yesterday.
When you look at the mirror, ask yourself... "Am I still the same person as before?" Because you are not. You were once weak and is strong as metal now. Time has rolled and you are completely different from who you are yesterday.
Discover life.
Living is beautiful in this silly life, please don't end your life. I have so much regrets in my whole existence, perhaps because of insecurity, but I have never ever thought of ending myself. Please have courage to see the beauty and blessing of life.
Learn the love.
I never saw the definition of "love" to where I've been raised, I just found it by myself... alone. Of all the things I've been through when I was a kid, it seems like I have never seen love. Maybe there's a love, because they are my family, but my heart became cold as ice. Today, I was able to see the true meaning of love. Not love in relationship as what you think, but the real love of life.
Never give up.
This is perhaps the most important thing I am going to advice to all the foster children who have suffered unwanted consequences. Always believe in the golden quote of "Tomorrow is another day."
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Thank you friends! 'till next time.
Mike @mikekenlytungal,
Always happy to share and inspire others.