This is a rather unorthodox post as instead of simply force-feeding you my thoughts on a topic I'd like to invite anyone who reads to discuss this with myself and others in the comments section below.
I began to struggle relentlessly with the inherent futility and meaningless of life I observed. While existential crises generally don't occur in folks under the age of 30, much less at the age of 17, I found my dilemma to be all-encompassing in my life. I'm sure many of you here have had a point in life where simply acting to progress is a brawl with yourself, because you cannot stop asking the question, "Why should I?".
It is a very fair and natural question, as a member of a highly intelligent species.
A lot of people deal with this existential crisis in different ways. Some have a "coming to Jesus", some create their own subjective meaning in life (career, family, etc.), some become depressed and go down a dark road. It is the unique reactions each individual has to this existential crisis that intrigues me to such a great extent.
Personally, I continue to struggle with my subjective crisis every day.
You see, even at a very early age growing up in an incredibly religious family, I had enormous difficulty maintaining faith in a higher power. I couldn't exactly figure out why that was at the time, being so young, I simply had to suggest to myself that everyone is wired differently and some people just cannot accept strong faith in a higher power.
These days, I've somewhat embraced an absurdist-nihilistic perspective on life, almost accepting and enjoying the belief that life has no objective/intrinsic meaning or inherent value in it. While it was assuredly depressing at first, grasping such a perceptibly negative concept, it continues to grow more liberating each day. I find myself detached from normal inhibitors found in those that take everything rather seriously. The embarrassment one feels when pointed and laughed at by peers is now lost on me, the fear and anxiety of failure is a foreign afterthought. At the end of the day I find myself able to face any storm that is thrown my way and act on any abstract ambition that formulates in my constantly racing mind, because to me any possible outcome truly doesn't matter much.
In essence, my personal experience with simply embracing the aforementioned "void" has been liberating and healthy.
While I truly do not expect anyone's thoughts to be identical to my own, I am curious to hear any that should be offered in the comments section below and encourage discussion among everyone on this topic.
If you took anything away from this post then my intention has been fulfilled, as always have a great day :)
Joseph Mobarak