When life gives you lemons.... F*ck Life! LoL.. Things don't always work out as planned, unfortunately that is life... It really sucks but at the same time it is what keeps things interesting. There is a popular saying "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" and I have come to learn that applies to most of life. People have this belief that changing scenery will make life better, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. I know, I tried. I was so excited to leave the things I hated that I forgot to take into consideration the new issues I would come across in my new life.
To be honest my life has been pretty messed up lately and I have no one to blame but myself. I made a plan to leave america and start a new life in a different country and it completely fell apart. It wasn't that I didn't plan good enough, it just was not the right plan. We could of made it in Costa Rica, we just hated it and didn't want to force something that didn't feel right. Sometimes you have to actually try something before you realize whether it is right or wrong. I don't regret trying it, I needed a change in life and this has definitely challenged me and reminded me about the truly important things in life. I really needed a reset to make me appreciate life. I was so wrapped up in leaving my old life behind that I forgot to think of the things that I did love about my life.
As a veteran with severe PTSD I sometimes struggle with reality. I see how the world is and it really bothers me. I have done my best to deal with this disability but sometimes it gets the best of me. I have received treatment in the form of medication and/or counseling for years but it is like everything else in life, ups and downs. Before I got my life on track I was just another statistic, a disabled veteran with a drug and alcohol problem struggling to keep my head above water. I thought I beat that, I thought my struggle was finally over because it had been years since my last big down fall but it has since hit and I have been struggling with depression and anxiety daily. I gained 20lbs in a month and stopped working out completely. I know eating and exercise is extremely important for mental health but its hard to get out of bed when you don't know when/if you will find a place to call home.
I knew I was in a bad place and that life wouldn't get better if I didn't do things to make it better, so a few weeks ago I started exercising, eating healthy and fasting regularly again. As soon as I started taking control of my life again good things started happening, funny how that works. I forgot how important it is to take care of my physical health if I wanted to take care of my mental health.
We (my fiance and our two pitbulls) have been on the road for over a month and a half now, living in hotels all across america. We have been traveling around trying to find the right place to settle down and start our new lives. We have literally traveled across america from California all the way to North Carolina to look for the perfect home just to end up back in the mid west only 6 hours from where we originally lived. We realized what we wanted was close all along, the midwest was the right place for us just not the exact location where we were. Funny how we had to travel and live in so many other places just to figure out that we already had what we wanted, it was just not in the exact spot we wanted it.
There were many times we wanted to give up and just go back home but we always pushed through, that is the most important lesson in life... Whenever you fall never give up! Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and keep moving forward. If you Keep on keepin on it will always work out. As hard as the last few months have been it has really been a great life lesson and I have learned a what really matters in life and it is definitely not scenery, money or material things, it is only family and love.
P.S. Now that we have finally found a new home I have decided the time is right to come back to steemit. ;)
