I am in a state of emotional instability. It means that I am not capable of handling any situation that does not favor me in a calm behavior, especially rejection.
A healthy person will handle rejection by moving on to something more productive. But for someone like me, it will linger inside me causing me unable to focus the task at hand. Negative thoughts will start to build up. Restless and nausea will soon follow up.
I hate having this feeling. It always ends up ruining my day even though I have something good going on. My brains tell me that I am just going through the motion, but the feeling of rejection always tends to overwhelm me.
The saddest part is that at one point, I will always take out my frustration and anger towards my family. I know deep down it very selfish and unfair on my part, but there is no outlet for me to channel out my emotion.
Again, I hope writing this will be therapeutic for me but at the end of the day, I sill need an actual person to share my thoughts.