Sleight of Hand
So, yeah.
I sat here, all day, producing that thing up there.
If you can only see a big red hand, good. That means my magic worked on you. I won't go into explaining the other details which I went ahead and hid in plain sight, just because. I'll pretend it's a big red hand and nothing else.
Listen. I made a stupid decision.
I needed some some peace and quiet, desperately.
I decided to head out to the cabin in the middle of the night.
It's a nice little place but it's not exactly meant for winter living. Electric heaters and a fireplace are keeping me nice and warm. I brought a bit of water because I knew the main water line was shut off for winter reasons. I turned most of the water into coffee though. Dammit.
I have to shit in a bucket. Sure, laugh. Where would you shit? On the floor? In a toilet that doesn't work until spring?
When you're done reading this, go to your toilet, give it a big hug and say, thank you. At least give it a high five. Something. Show it some love.
The internet here is terrible. Usually I don't even get a signal but every now and again I'm blessed with a few minutes of access. I can't live like this. I mean, I can and the silence is awesome, but I also need to be able to work on this damn blog. I knew how to spell sleight. Then that stupid 'I' before 'E' except after 'C' nonsense from grade one threw me off and I couldn't Google worth a shit. I had to wait three hours just to find out I was right. Whoever drilled that stupid 'I' before 'E' shit into my head needs a good talking to.
I can't just leave. The weather took a turn for the worse. I'm now stuck in the middle of nowhere, during a blizzard.
I woke up after a few hours of rest and noticed a small snow bank forming inside the cabin near the front door. Guess who gets to put in new weather stripping this spring. For now, a blanket will have to do.
I thought I was hearing dinosaurs a few minutes ago. It turns out it was just some guys on snowmobiles having a bit of fun.
I didn't even bring winter boots. The next time I do something stupid, I'm checking the weather forecast first.
I don't really know what else I can say. Right now, the plan is to stare at the wifi indicator. As soon as that little yellow icon that tells me I'm cut off from the rest of the world goes away, I'll press the post button.
I'll probably be late responding to comments. I'm not sure though. We'll see how it goes.
Update: I wrote that thirty minutes ago. I'm afraid to look away. What if I miss that little window of opportunity? What if it's the only one I get?
Update: There goes the dinosaurs again.
Update: I ate soup. It was good but now my stomach is making odd sounds and feels kind of funky. I'm trying my best to not think about the bucket.
Update: The wind has picked up. I can't even see 20 meters. There used to be trees there, now it's just white.
Update: I think dinosaurs hibernate when the visibility goes down to zero.
Update: Tick-tock-tick-tock-tick-tock. I might smash that clock and use it as firewood.
Update: I shoveled snow for the past hour or so. It needed to be done.
Update: Come on! Come on! Why won't you work!
Update: Slowly going crazy, I am.
Update: I'm heading home. Screw this.
Update: The guy down the way said his internet works fine. I did good and didn't punch him.
Update: I made it home.
Update: I forgot to cover the bucket and take it outside.
