"I belong to you. You belong to me. Now get in your cage and I'll slip into these shackles..." said the young prince. And they lived happily ever after.
What kind of twisted fairytale is this?
Love as a concept carries quite a bit of weight in our society, and why wouldn't it?
Everyone wants to know they are loved and valued. Everyone wants to be special, or at least feel special, but no one wants that feeling taken from them.
So, they buy into a system of forced love adherence we call marriage. They hope that gifting their loved ones with a charming ball and chain will keep them by their side until death. That's clearly what dreams are made of.
I don't know much about relationships, but I do know that actual love is not founded on vows or contracts or dowries or diamonds...
True love is the natural outcome of trust.
This is why we love our families who have had our backs our entire lives. This is why we love our pets who have restrained from biting or otherwise maiming us since we brought them in. This is why we love our friends who have stood the test of time.
Trust is the secret ingredient. Trust is the trigger on the love gun. :)
Without trust, we're left with, well, nothing. In fact, relationships without trust were never relationships at all.
Let us consider marriage once more. What does such an arrangement imply?
Love? Mutual trust and respect? Commitment?
Nope.
Marriage entails signing contracts, taking vows and placing immense social pressure on another person to do the same.
Does that sound like a loving thing to do?
Wouldn't it be better to prove you loved those you do indeed love by doing precisely what you do with your family, friends and pets - cultivating an environment of trust?
What if you do all of that 'trust' stuff and get married? Would that work?
Possibly, but why sabotage a satisfying relationship with contracts and social pressures? Je ne sais...
The wise want love; and those who love want wisdom.
-Percy Bysshe Shelley
