"You open doors when you open books... doors that swing wide to unlimited horizons of knowledge, wisdom, and inspiration that will enlarge the dimensions of your life."
Wilferd Peterson
Source: @thebugiq allowed me to use this amazing photograph for this post! Do check out his profile!
Good day my fellow Steemians!
A few days ago I read the above quote, and it touched me so much I decided to use it in this post! For most people opening a door is an easy task, a daily routine perhaps if you have many doors in your house! Opening doors is a tad harder for me. I am not talking about the door to the living room or bedroom but the front door of my house!
Why my front door scares me to hell and back!
Right now, you might think "What's so scary about your door Snekky? Does it look like a monster? Does it growl at you when you get close?" And my answer to those questions will be no. I have a perfectly normal door. It's wearing a nice blue color, and honestly, it looks very friendly! Yet, my door is a big problem for me. For most people, the front door of their house is the way into the wide world where they can live many amazing adventures. For me, that same door means stepping over a boundary, a line I have to cross from the safe into something I fear!
When I started this blog series about becoming an open book I knew I would come to a point where I have to share inside information about how my head works. It's scary because most people will label you right away! It's because of those labels that I want to be open and share that people who suffer from mental health problems are not scary, weird or stupid. I want to break away from the image we hold and share my story, my whole story!
One of the mental health problems I have is Agoraphobia, and even though I do not like the word "problem", it sure is a huge one! Before I share my story about Agoraphobia let's see what the world says about this so you can get an idea about it.
While most websites, books and even Doctors say the same things about Agoraphobia. I believe that it's different for every person! For many years therapy was given following the rules that are written in a book. A different approach would be a welcome change, and I am one of the few lucky chosen people to enter a new way of therapy! In my coming blogs I will talk more about that and the effects on my own life!
For the last eight years I have been a prisoner in my own house and life! Because of Agoraphobia, I started to lock myself up more each day to the point where I never went outside anymore. While it feels safe to be in my own house where the outside world has no grip on me, the pain became stronger than the need to stay inside. That is when the real struggle began. I want to go outside but to be able to do so I have to beat the fear I have built up for many years!
At the moment of writing this I can go outside but not as far as I would love to! But, for the first time in eight years, I feel like the therapy I am getting is working! This might be because the therapy is different from all the other kinds I followed in the past, or maybe I am just done with this period in my life and ready to move on.
In my next blogs I will go deeper into the new kind of therapy I am following because I believe that sharing every step is a good thing to do. If I can help at least one person who reads my blog, and inspire them to become open and find the help they need I will be happy!
Back to my door.
While my door is still a nightmare for me, I no longer fear opening it! I am ready to throw it open and face the unlimited horizons of knowledge, wisdom, and inspiration that will enlarge the dimensions of my life. I will take you all with me on my journey into the world I feared for such a long time. I will be open about everything, the good and the bad. There will be moments where I have to battle myself and get myself to cross a boundary set in my mind. Hard times, but also many victory moments!
"Fuck you Agoraphobia, I am going to beat ya down you little bugger!"
