Have You Ever Met Grief?

Have you ever met Grief?

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Grief is like an overly needy person
That you can't leave alone
Because it wont leave you alone

Once you've met Grief, you take it with you everywhere you go
It hangs around your neck with the weight of your loss
Sometimes its hold is loose and though still heavy you manage to breathe
Other times its hold is so tight that it chokes and suffocates you

Although Grief is a constant companion
It holds its head just above your eyes
And all you can see is it
Grief can be terribly selfish

And make you feel awfully lonely

It makes you think it came only for you
That nobody can understand your Grief
And it's true that no Grief is the same
But there is no grief more significant than the other
The weight of loss and pain is not measured pounds or ounces
but by the void of what once was there

But there are times
Times when friends make you laugh
Or when you are too busy
Or when you allow yourself to share your Grief
That you can put it down for a while

And you don't have to feel guilty about it.

Grief will throw a tantrum
When you smell that scent
Hear that song
See that place

When the memories rush in like the tide
Keeping you under water
Grief will rush back and knock you over
Kicking and crying and holding you tighter than before

Grief is as natural as the tide
You can't avoid it
But you don't have to drown either

I met my Grief nine years ago
When my father died of an enlarged heart
Yesterday someone I care about met her Grief
It took her father the same way it took mine

I guess some people have too big of hearts to live in this world

I could tell her that
I learned that Grief grows
If you hold on to it, It becomes heavier
And it brings friends
Friends like Depression, Bitterness, Anger

Grief's friends will always stop for a visit
And some will stay for a while
But if you hold on to your Grief
They hang on to you too
They will monopolize you
Until they are all that you see

But if you learn to put Grief down
It still grows and it learns to walk
As time goes by its hold on you becomes more bearable

And one day, sometimes years down the road
You notice that you no longer carry Grief around your neck
That sometimes it just holds your hand tightly
As you two go down memory lane together

But to tell someone that just met Grief
That Grief one day will let her breathe a little easier
Is the same as showing a blind person the Sun
She might believe me
But she can't see it

So my Dear friend,
This is what I am going to tell you
It's okay to allow Grief in
Grief has other friends too
Like Healing, Wisdom and Strength

It's okay to hug Grief back
Carry it with you
And meet its friends
But it's also okay to put Grief down
Every once in a while

Don't suppress Grief
It doesn't go away on its own
Ignoring it only enrages it
And right now I know you can't see much beyond your Grief

But I promise you the stars will shine again

Don't allow Grief to choke your laughter
Guilt is one of its friends
that you don't need to invite in

I only met your father once
But I know your smiling face was his favorite
And although I don't believe people in heaven can look down at us
I have never been there myself
So let's not take any chances

My lovely friend
Sometimes Grief is going to get a little heavy to carry
And that is okay too
That doesn't mean you will drown

You are not alone
Grief can bring people together
In ways that only Grief can

So when it get a little too heavy
Know that you are not carrying it alone

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness.
It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity,
the price you pay for love.
The only cure for grief is to grieve
- Earl Grollman