Many families are not happy. A lot of children don't want to go home because their homes are not happy. Lots of fathers and mothers don't want to go home either because their homes are not happy. Grandparents don't want to stay at home with their sons or daughters or their grandchildren because of the family shortcomings not making them happy anymore. And because they aren't home, the situation is getting worse. But if we're not happy, what is the purpose of our living? The lord likes us to be happy. Therefore, how can the family be happy? It's important that happiness becomes a goal. And in the family, everyone has to do his or her part to achieve this goal. We just have to put things in place, then everybody will be much happier.
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For The Men
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1. Love your wife.
The very first thing to do is to make your partner happy.
This guide is just like the same as the love of Jesus for his church. What does it mean? He gave his life for the church. Husband, love your wife. Of course, different strokes for different folks. Wives must be loved the way they want to be loved, not the way their husbands think they should be loved. You love her but you're buying stuff for her that she didn't like. So then it means nothing. She appreciate just the thought but not the thing. So for the husbands, if you want to love your wife, love them the way they want to be loved. Not that you're going to say "That's just the way to express my love, better than nothing, you must be thankful."
2. do not be harsh to your wife.
Husbands, do not be harsh in behavior or words to your wives. That's always the theme of the New Testament. Husbands must not be rough to their wives. They must apply good manners and right conduct. Sometimes harshness comes in other forms, like thoughtlessness. The time you forget to be tender, loving, and kind, that's already called harshness. Your partner wants you to keep reminding of your anniversaries. I isn't hard right? If you still able to forget about small things, then consider yourself to be harsh and adjust.
3. Be considerate.
Single men, if you plan to get married make sure to lived your single life the most before you commit for this thing. As you live with your wives, be considerate. Not because you're walking fast doesn't mean she must also walk as fast as you are because she wears a wedge. Just be patient and not grumpy. By the time she was a single you are like her gentle guardian but now that you're married to each other you let her carry your groceries and even being left behind. Then the husband did nothing but to pressure.
Full time moms do not go outside the house to earn a living. Maybe it's right to expect that when a husband comes home, the wife must have prepared a meal or the certain things to be prepared. But if you both have your own jobs, be more considerate.
4. Be a good father.
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But, remember, to be a good father you must be a good husband first. A good husband will almost automatically become a good father, but not all good fathers are good husbands. So, to love your children, fathers, first love your wives. Fathers who don't love their wives cannot love their children fully because: first, you will not show them a good example. Second, you probably will break up your marriage, and what kind of love you will be able to give to your children? A good father is a little bit of a father too. You need to help each other. The primary responsibility of the father is to provide for the family.
5. Do not exasperate the children
Fathers, another way to make your family happier is not to exasperate the children.
There are lots of children that whenever their father arrived at home, they will get their distance to them and when the father goes upstairs at home, the child will then go downstairs. When the father goes to the kitchen, his child goes to the living room. They keep on avoiding their father. In previous generations, children treat their fathers almost like saints. They are always present but they can't be touched. How many hildren ache to embrace their fathers but cannot? And how many fathers ache to embrace their children, especially their sons, but cannot? It's because their inventing a wall to each other, a distance but never worked! We do not like it to happen to our family so fathers, be more lovable, loving, and expressive.
6. Teach the children about the Lord and godliness.
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What else the previous Bible verse are telling about? It's not only "do not exasperate the children." There's also the word "instead". "Instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." It's clearly telling us who must be the spiritual head of the family. Who is in charge to teach about godliness? Who must inspire them to go on a Sunday school? Who will lead the prayer at family devotions? It's the father.
For The Women
1. Submit to your husband.
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Submission does not mean slavery. It doesn't mean that you'll immediately jump on a building, instead you're gonna tell yourself "What floor am i going to jump?" If we are going to get the Greek equivalent of the word "submit" that was used in verse 22, it means to put the interest of your husband above yours. In other words, you want to do something, but because it may somehow harm the reputation of my partner, you'll just decide "I'm not gonna do it." If you are smarter than him, you know that you have a higher educational attainment than him, but you think it would embarrass your partner, so you will have to remain quiet. You will just be able to show your intelligence on other times in a quiet and subtle way. And if he wants something to eat and you are going to cook it for him then grant his request, not to say "If you want your mother's dish then go to your mother's! But you are living here, so this is what you're going to eat! I'm a vegan so you'll eat veggies everyday!"
If your husband is happy, he'll make you happy as well. But if he's miserable, then it will come back to you. Because in love, we keep only what we give away. And remember this, you lose what you selfishly keep. So, wives, submit to your husbands.
2. Be honorable.
You will know a good woman by the honor she gives her husband.
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One of the best things done by a good wife is to give honor to her husband and will always be to the rest of their lives.
3. Be productive and organized.
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This model of womanhood in this Bible's verse has many good attributes. She has strong arms, She's working. She does have a job. She does not rely to her husband's salaries. She has her own income. She sees that her trading is profitable. And her lamp does not go out at night. In Israel, the lamp must be kept burning at night, Why? There are several reasons. One, they equate darkness with the absence of the Lord. It's their belief that even in darkness the Lord still exists. Two, if there's strangers that comes in town in the middle of the night, the lamp by the window says, "Welcome! We are a hospitable family." If the lamp was off it says "Do not knock the door or disturb us."
Sometimes the lamp turns off not because the mother of the house has a bad attitude, but because the lamp is just out of fuel or oil in the middle of the night. So what's the problem? Have you ever experienced that your child had a fever on the middle of night and you don't even have a paracetamol in the house? You're already sauteing the garlic but you found out you missed the onion in your recipe? Time comes when you need something and then you realized that you do not have it. That's the meaning of the phrase "her lamp does not go out at night". The home of that wife was organized. Her kitchen was well stocked because she does have money. So be productive and organized.
4. Be peaceable.
From then until now,majority of the roofs in the Middle East are flat. You can even sleep there at night because it's not winter, the wind is good because of the desert. So the man said it's better to live on the roof rather than being with a quarrelsome wife. It's better to be peaceable than quarrelsome.
What about mothers? How can you make your family happier?
5. Be a blessing to the children.
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When children look at you, they say, "Wow! This is a blessing in the flesh." Going back to Proverbs 31 which once more describes this very wonderful woman,
When she wakes her children up, they will say "Wow! Our mother is so blessed!." And her husband praises her for her honorable attitude. Opposed to the scenario that the children wakes up with their tummies hurting but their mother still wears her curlers in her head while snoring loudly in her sleep.
6. Be responsible.
She's organized, she wakes up early to prepare her children something to eat to start their good day. She doesn't stay awake at midnight for nothing. If someone is able to help her at home, she's giving them their own assignments for the day to keep their home organized.
This woman does a great job. When the cold season comes, she's not going to worry. Instead, she's so excited to bring out the family member's outfits for the season and for herself because she's prepared. She's ready for any season because she's well organized and a responsible wife.
For The Children
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What does the children contribute to the family? If you're a son or a daughter, you can do three things:
1. Honor your parents.
This is the only commandment in the Ten Commandments that has an attachment or has a promise. Try to read the ten commandments. This is the only commandment with the word "promise", and if you obeyed this one, you may live long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. And this is not only the number of years but the years that are full of meaning. Honor your parents.
2. Obey your parents. Especially for the children in minor ages. If you're old, honor them. If you're still young, then obey your parents.
In everything means in everything that is godly. We don't take everything literally. They wanted to make you a prostitute, will you obey? That's not it. It must be everything in the Lord. So you've got to combine the two verses, get the subset and that is the safe area of operation of the command to obey your parents.
Children as brother and sister, what are you supposed to do to make the family happier?
3. Be your brother's keeper
After Cain killed his brother, this is what God told him:
The obvious answer is "yes." You are your brother's and your sister's keeper. Don't set a competition between your siblings. The worst competition in the world are between brothers and sisters. And sometimes even the parents encourage them to those things. "Why does your brother became successful abroad while you're still here? Your sister has a school medal and you don't?" The result then is the competition between the siblings. So do not compare and do not compete with your brothers and sisters. Complement them. That's a permanent relationship we will have then. Marriage can be erased by a divorce, weddings are to be annuled, but being siblings is eternal.
Is Your Family Happy?
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Is it happy enough? Is it as happy as God wants it to be? What's your role to make it happy? Or what role could you be playing to make it unhappy? We have to think. Are you a husband? Are you loving your wife? Are you considerate and kind? Are you a wife? Are you honorable, kind, and submissive to your husband? Children, do you honor your parents? Do you obey them? Do you look after the welfare of your brothers and sisters?
When the family is happy, society will be healthy. The root of most problems that people have can be traced to the fact that they are not happy at home, so they invent all kinds of evil things outside the home just to look for happiness. The home must be the fortress of the family. It must be the center of love. Don't think of what people in your family should be doing that they don't do. Think of what you should be doing but do not do. Think also of the right things you do and how you can still improve. Let the lord change our hearts.
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