Listen kid, worry, sadness and boredom are part of our everyday lives. However, if these negative feelings persist for a long time, then you may be depressed. But how long is long? And how does one separate these feelings from the temporary emotional responses to the tough challenges of life? These questions illustrates how difficult a sickness such as depression is to diagnose, making it all the more difficult to cure. But it is treatable if the symptoms are detected early and the appropriate treatment is applied.

Unfortunately, one of these symptoms is suicide. In this case, there's nothing to treat. The ill is finally freed of the illness but loved ones are left to prepare a funeral, brood over how they missed all the signs foretelling the disaster and what they could have done to prevent it, and wear the stigma of being related to someone that has intentionally caused his/her own demise.

Son, I’m not going to talk to you about the symptoms but about the underlying causes of the sickness. Here are 3 that you should be on the lookout for:

1. Hubris

You're a smart kid, really smart. I recall you scored 152 on your last IQ test. That puts you at the 99th percentile on the global distribution of intelligence i.e. at the world's top 1%. It means you're smarter than 99% of the people in the world and that's not trivial. With ease, you comprehend complicated abstractions, perform complex tasks and develop original ideas to solve difficult problems. I'm sure you've already seen your superior cognitive ability manifest itself in terms of academic and corporate success.

But son, don't get carried away by your accomplishments. You may be incredibly smart, but there are some problems that you may not be able to solve alone. Thoughts like "no one understands", or "if I can't solve this, then no one can", points to hubris and these ill perceptions can make you nihilistic. So before giving in to paranoid delusions, speak to other people about the problem you're trying to solve and all the solutions you've attempted so far.

Seeking help doesn't diminish your intelligence. The numerous remarkable advancements in the world aren't as a result of a single gifted mind but the collective brainpower of several brilliant individuals across time. Talk to the guy next door, he just might have the answers you seek. And if he doesn't, there are over a billion more doors to knock.

2. Nihilism

I remember when my great grandma died. I must have been about 6 or 7 years old at the time. She lived a long life, 102 years old when she passed, so there was hardly any mourning. I remember asking my mum if I too was going to die. And she said, "Yes, but at a very long time from now when you are old and grey, surrounded by your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren". But that was a subtle truth. "Yes sweetie. You can die right now, today, tomorrow, or next week. I don't know. Nobody knows when, where, or how. But you'll definitely die. And there's nothing you, your siblings, your father, me or anyone else can do about it", would have been a well-articulated truth.

Death is an existential problem that man simply cannot solve. The painful discovery of our inevitable mortality should lead us all into nihilism, filling our despondent minds with all kinds of fatuous ideas. What's the point of it all? Why take medicine when ill? Why fall in love? Why do anything at all if we're all going to die? But somehow we’re still here. Just how did we manage that? How do we keep living? Goals! That's how. We take aim and focus on a single goal, leaving everything else in the peripheral view, until the goal is achieved. There certainly are no shortages of psycho-physiological trauma that can crush our hopes and dreams, leaving us with nothing but extreme pessimism and radical skepticism. It is the iterative process of setting goals and working at achieving them that keeps us buoyant.

Listen boy, my mum may not have told me the absolute truth about death, but her words mapped out milestones that can grace my life with meaning. Who cares if the truth is subtle? Take aim, achieve, and repeat.

3. Futility

Hey kid, what's your ultimate goal in life? Many say happiness. It is easy to see the allure. After all, happiness is a highly desirable positive emotion usually equated with pleasure and/or contentment. But like every other human emotion, happiness is transient. Therefore, the pursuit of happiness is pointless.

Life is a chaotic amalgam of suffering and malevolence that only guarantees one pain and death. Order is formed when we confront chaos with potential, and this daunting undertaking is what generates meaning. So abandon happiness and pursue meaning. Choose a noble goal, one that is found in the intersection between law and ethics, and is perpetually good. Aim high, but not too high so that it seems unreachable. Aim low, but not too low that accomplishments seem insignificant. Don’t craft goals aimed at futility. You are what you aim at. So aim carefully.

This is an excerpt from the author's "Listen Kid" series.
Picture by youthministry.com