it’s seven o’clock, @dayleeo is to my left and bella chella is to my right, we are all on machines at this very moment. when you don’t have much room to ‘swing a cat’ as they say unless we are watching a film or the weather is warm outside it’s actually pretty cramped in here for 2.5 people! :)
this photo was from a pub i was in the other day, it’s a ruleset i have always be looking up even if it’s above eye level, street level, someone with an opinion you don’t agree with, distractions and drama — i kinda apply that ruleset to those thoughts too, look up. look above it, for something potentially deeper in myself that i’m projecting.
i had this situation today a few times on a variety of things, my fight or flight kicked in at various stages today while out in the world during my time travelling back out from the school and also online. i’m thankful that i had time to take stock of the situation, i was lucky in that ‘i looked up’ and reflected on the situation in front of me.
i’m really making an effort to avoid drama, to change my own reaction and behaviour to moments, instead of taking it on, trying to win out the moment, to just allow it, not feed it, not reacting to it. for instance one of the things on the bus was a person that always is getting on it drunk.
it’s none of my business what this person does, how they live out their life but for some reason when i’m with my ten year old daughter i feel the situation is one that i need to explain so my daughter can understand how someone drunk can change quickly from talkative to potentially abusive, as a dad i’m trying to educate her, protect her but also want her to understand.
this man gets on the bus early, pretty much everyday, get’s drunk over four to five hours and then travels home, he’s not abusive but he’s ‘creepy’ and i don’t like it, especially when young girls from the college are on the bus and he’s trying to chat to them, when he’s really drunk he’s just loud and saying things under his breath that i don’t think he knows.
one time on the bus previously i saw out of the corner of my eye that he was trying to bring his camera up on his smartphone and trying to take a stealth video, i’m not sure what of but it was ‘weird’ and ‘creepy’ — the girl asked me if i saw what she did after he got off and i confirmed it. i told her in future she should sit elsewhere on the bus and nowhere near this man as i felt his actions were very odd even thou he had been drinking
luckily i was with @dayleeo so she listened to dayle more than me i think because it was coming from a fellow girl because she was young and because this man had done nothing to hear and she didn’t understand the potential grooming sounding talk it needed a third party to make her aware of it — he made it sound like he knew her, and afterwards we found out that she didn’t which made it more weird — since that time and every time he gets on the bus i’m always wary of him.
i’m sure by now this man understands (when he’s not drunk) that i don’t like his way that he talks to younger girls on public buses and i’ve never been able to have ‘a word’ with him because i don’t want to get into an altercation when he’s been drinking — today, i just looked up, eyes forward.
todays conversation and awareness actually came from bella about him picking up on the situation that he was a little ‘strange’ because of his mumblings and how he reacted as she was eating a chicken nugget, she’s smart she understands the difference in people and knows i’m sure how to react, i’m just trying to get her to understand how someone can switch from one state to another when alcohol is in play — i’m sure later on in life she will understand, i can only prepare, advise, inform and debate with her for now.
i’m glad that as the years go by i’m taking the time to slow down on my initial opinions, less quick to jump in, less quick to solve or resolve, to back down or step back, to realise that my shoulder chip is just a shell that i can choose to wear like an arrogant life jacket or let it dissolve like a reactionary smokers jacket.