Today I want to write something about feelings. The ones you can have for someone and might be based on nothing or perhaps it is something very small?
My brother in law (I should say ex-brother in law) is one of them. He is my ex husband his twin brother. I think at the start I had more good talks by phone with him as with my ex. Although both are raised with smoking cigarettes, lots of alcohol, a clear lack of love and a chaotic life. Still.. my brother in law cannot do much wrong to me. No matter how drunk or stoned he is. So not my life style, but for some reason I can accept it all. He never called me after the divorce, but once sent me a card with Easter. To be honest I never knew he could write. The fact he did so still brings out all the good thoughts about him after all these years.
I am not easily flattered and I seldom respond to compliments which have to do with my looks. I do not like sticky people and cannot stand those who like to lick themselves in by kissing my ass or... worse.. trying to be friends with my children to get closer to me or make me like them.
If it comes to feelings I assume I have less. I do not feel threatened by a friendly word, I also know how to respond, but the fact is that over 95% of the people do not mean what they say. They lie to be polite or, in most cases, want something from me.
The flattering words of two of my pen-pals (I met one by write a prisoner.com and the other got my letter via an other prisoner) I can also stand. The reason?
My first pen-pal is just calling me sweety and that is all. No more, no less, not trying to get closer and not being annoyed. I know him over 5 years now.
The second pen-pal always starts his with: 'my little butterfly' and ends with: you know who loves you (whatever love may mean). The rest of the letter is normal chat. No love, no sex, no orders.
I accept these words of both of them and yes I do feel flattered Perhaps because nothing in the letters show any sign of love and it is just like saying 'yes dear' or 'yes love'?
Steepshot