Today was a rough one, and one that made me think... "At what point do I just give up and walk away." First let me start by explaining the day.
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I normally stay up to 3am to work and last night was the same for me. I like working late, it's quiet and I get a lot more done. I like to wake up around 9am, but I had a client blowing up my phone asking me to update his website at 7:30am.
I got up, a little tired and went to my garage office and turned on my heaters and huddled to warm up in the 12 degree temperature. I get online and see that the site is updated, and the client made a mistake. I had the right info on the site and he apologized. Ok, not that bad, right. Well, he owes me this months bill and he said that I could pick it up later today. Fine.
I couldn't get back to sleep so I worked on some stuff for other clients to get it out of the way. Aside from the frustrating start, I got a lot done this am and drove to a meeting I've had scheduled for a week. The person did not show up, and I was left waiting for 30 minutes until I left. He hasn't responded.
Then I went to a lunch meeting and that went ok, but not the outcome I wanted. I got a free lunch though and the company was great.
Then things started to go downhill.
One client, who owes me money for this month called and said he had to cancel because he didn't do the numbers he thought over Christmas and the $800 I was counting on isn't coming in. He told me this 8 days after I sent the invoice for this month and after me doing some work for him this am. Ok, one client down. Not bad and I knew it was coming one day down the road anyway.
Then another meeting and this client doubled my workload and didn't want to pay me anymore, all the work that I had done he wanted to change even after he approved it the first time. Very demanding, but I lost one client today and kept my head up and said I will try to get it done in the hours he already has on the books. Then I got a text from a client that was supposed to start on Wednesday, saying he is backing out because he has decided to sell his store. So another couple hundred that was supposed to come in this week isn't.
As I went to pick up the check I discussed with my client first thing this morning, his bartender said he wasn't in and didn't leave me a check. Now I'm starting to get upset. I've got about $2k owed to me this week and lost two thirds of it and can't get the last third.
So no I got my wife texting me when I'm depositing money and I have to tell her that I have not collected any this week and she gets upset... understandably. I'm pissed too, but I have more meetings and I'm hopeful to turn things around.
By the end of the day, I went home with two fewer clients than I started with and no money coming in.
Owning your own business is tough. Trying to be your own person is tough. Just a few days ago, I lost another client due to them deciding to let their nephew do all their digital marketing and wanted to know if they could pay me $25 an hour to come and train him for four hours. I said no. It costs $150 an hour and I need about 100 hours to train an 17-year-old kid. They didn't like that and hung up.
It was rough, my business took a big hit today and driving home my wife calls and said my son got his good basketball stolen from the YMCA and he wasn't even supposed to take it. She also added I had to clean tonight while she goes out for a work dinner.
I hung up and was depressed. Something I don't feet too often. I'm an upbeat positive guy, but negative after negative wore on me today. Financial burdens took their toll and family responsibilities just drained me. The idea crept in my head and I said... "At what point do I give up? When do I stop and just find a boring ass job and make steady money and be moderately happy?"
It only took about 10 seconds before I shook the idea from my head and just moved on. I picked up the phone and called a business owner I hadn't heard from in a while and got him to sign up as a new client on the phone. Going to pick up the money tomorrow... hopefully. lol
Looking back, I had could have just stayed depressed. Gone home and yelled at my son and drank a beer or four while cleaning and just been pissed, but I didn't. I don't want a life where I have to work for others and on other people's terms. I want to build my own empire or die trying. I want something to hand to my kids one day instead of just a pin I got for working 20 years at a company.
So the moral of this story is, if you feel down and it's been a rough day and nothing is working out the way you want, just keep pushing forward. If you want it bad enough, and work hard enough, the universe will put opportunities in your path.
So for me, the answer to my question is never. Never give up. If it was easy, then everyone would do it, and I'm not everyone. I am who I am. Now go out and be who you are!
Ever felt this way? Let me know in the comments below.
Thanks for reading and all your support. You rock!
