This is going to feel like a really weird exercise to some of you, but I hope that won't stop you from doing it.
Do I need to first tell you how important strong self-embrace is for your happiness and success in life?
You know that you are the one deciding how much good stuff you let in, right?
Okay, I'm going to roll with the fact that you already know this is important stuff. So let's just focus on how you strengthen self-love without falling into the false bravado and selfishness so many people confuse with it.
Try This for 3 Days
Method 1
(for people who don't already make on-camera videos) - Make a video where you speak to the camera. It can be one you record with your own software like Windows Movie Maker or whatever version is on Mac. Or with your cell phone's camera and video function. Or even a livestream you do on Facebook. (You can set privacy to 'Only Me' if you want.)
However you make it, whatever you decided to say, record yourself speaking for at least 5 minutes. Do talk about something in particular and make a point that you think is important. Don't just ramble. Also get yourself looking well-groomed, as if you really were going to show this video to the world. And maybe later you will, though that's not our objective here.
After you make the video, watch it. Play it back at least twice, watching and listening to yourself. And here's the key part: notice how you feel as you watch this person.
Are you comfortable or uncomfortable watching and listening to yourself? Are you supportive or critical?
Do this again the next day with either a new video, or just watching the first one a couple more times. Notice if you are starting to get more comfortable watching yourself just naturally the first replay on this second day.
In the second replay on the second day, intentionally focus your emotions on loving the person you are watching. Notice all the good things about what you are seeing and hearing, but also apart from any thoughts of judgment, just fill your emotions with love as you watch yourself. There doesn't actually have to be justification for loving anything, including yourself.
Love because love feels good and you've decided to feel good.
Do it again on a third day, either making a new video or just replaying the first one a couple times. Again notice how you naturally feel watching yourself on the first replay of the day. Then on the second replay intentionally generate a feeling of love as you watch yourself.
Then get out actual paper and pen/pencil and write your reflections on the 3 day exercise. No one else is going to see this but you. The act of writing it down will give you access to deeper insights.
You may remember when your relationship to self shifted to being less loving. Or maybe you'll recall experiences from childhood in which you felt unconditional love from someone. Or you'll see more clearly something you want for yourself right now... maybe including how to get it. Whatever you discover is perfect, even if it is just noticing your current patterns.
Method 2
(for those already recording videos) - Do the same exercise above only instead of recording new videos, go back and watch one of your previous videos. Watch 5 minutes of one twice each day for 3 days.
If I was talking to you after you'd already picked one I'd have a follow-up question, but if I ask it now it will affect what you do. But if you do this, please comment below afterward and I'll give you the follow-up self-inquiry question in reply.
But even without that, notice also how you respond to watching yourself.
Do you naturally feel yourself fill with love and adoration as you watch yourself or do you have to manufacture the feeling with willpower?
Do you feel embarrassment or shame as you watch yourself?
Notice and then on the 3rd day, do a written reflection on the entire experience.
In Summary
Most of us have long been taught how important self-love is if we are to reach our full potential in life and truly feel successful, not just look successful to others. Yet how often do most of us take action to build that self-love muscle the way we would work-out any other muscle group in the body?
Well hopefully you do exercise your body. I know you exercise your mind plenty. Well time to start intentionally exercising your self-love too.
Enjoy!
