Among one of the many tips given by my mother, there is one that the moment she expressed it, I hesitate a little and began to challenge their credibility. I remember we were talking about the most repeated story told by parents ... how they fell in love! And my mother telling her story, she talked about a date she had with someone else before my father, that person said to her: "I need you" And she didn't like that at all. The moment she told me that she did not like being told "I need you" I felt a little confused, I did not see what the problem was in expressing that phrase, for me it was a normal thing, even in love movies we see Almost always telling each other "I need you". After she expressed that, my curiosity made me ask her why she was disgusted. His response was: "When a person is saying I need you is because he is thinking selfishly, he is practically telling you that I want you to supplant this area of my life so that I will be happy, something very different, I will do my part so that we are both Happy ". This is one of the many situations that can lead us to what is known as a toxic relationship.
And ... What are Toxic Relationships?
"They are those in which one or both people suffer much more than they experience happiness and pleasure to be together. One of the members (in some cases both) are subjected to great wear and tear for trying to sustain the relationship. They cause more dissatisfaction than happiness. "
We could also say that it is when we are beaten repeatedly (either physically or mentally) and we continue to think that we can maintain the relationship. These types of relationships have some particular characteristics with which we can identify them:
• Feelings of well-being are rather ephemeral.
• It is very common to remain silent or overlook certain things that give them the importance they deserve, would cause deep pain and even jeopardize the continuity of the relationship.
• Often you feel sad with your partner in an exaggerated way.
• One of the partners; Or both, use mechanisms such as guilt, sarcasm and mockery to manipulate each other.
• The Decisiveness decreases.
• Sometimes the person comes to a situation in which he does not recognize himself.
• The individual doesn't grow as a person
And you ask yourself but how can a person who feels dissatisfaction and so much pain, can go ahead with such torture and not realize ... well yes, if they exist and I dare to say that there are a lot of people in this situation that Still they are with closed eyes. In my life I have been about two or three times close but very close to establishing a toxic relationship. I remember saying, "I'm going to make her change" looking for reasons to be able to establish that relationship that did not have a true foundation and in turn I was believing myself a "Hero". Something that many at some point we try!
It is not good for anyone to establish a relationship of this type, I have seen some other friends experiencing it and I really do not think it is very productive, rather it is just the opposite. I decided to write a little about this, to encourage everyone to open their eyes and ask us if we are in a toxic relationship or if we are going to start with one. So if we are one of these cases we can identify, then solve. All this in search of true love!
Now that we know how to identify these relationships, we have to know how to solve them, in the next post, I will be writing a little about what are the reasons why without noticing we continue "throwing salt to the wound" and how to get out of these relationships?
I hope you liked them and that if you are going through something similar, Then that these posts will help you in some way!
Thanks for your attention!
References:
http://www.ciaramolina.com/relaciones-toxicas/
http://salud.ccm.net/faq/4196-relaciones-toxicas-de-pareja
Images Taken:
http://www.psicologosantacoloma.es/como-saber-si-tu-relacion-de-pareja-es-una-relacion-toxica/#Los_celos_no_son_amor
http://elizabethhagan.com/2015/12/16/i-need-you-you-need-me/
http://gananci.com/relaciones-toxicas/
https://es.dreamstime.com/fotos-de-archivo-hombre-de-negocios-del-hroe-image7076663
http://www.elportaldelhombre.com/desarrollo-personal/item/660-te-quiero-pero-no-te-necesito