The first date was everything you want it to be
You made her laugh
Both had a great time
Both had a few drinks
You got the make out and you invite her over to your place and even had sex!
At this point you’re thinking you are going to add her to your rotation and it’s going to be fun hanging out with this girl.
Few days later you try planning the second date and she goes cold on you. She is nowhere as near responsive and doesn’t give you an agreement on a specific time or date. She tells you “I can’t tonight, maybe in a few days. I will let you know”
She still sees your stories on Instagram and Snapchat and Eventually, you get tired of chasing her trying to set up the 2nd date so you completely stop trying to talk to her.
Ah, the MYSTERY OF THIS! WTF JUST HAPPENED???
Lets get into it and I will tell you what happened.
- THE WRONG SECOND DATE STRATEGY
Sometimes it can really be as easy as this. You don’t have a good second date strategy
Your second date should be depended upon the result of the first date. I will explain further in these 3 first date scenarios
If you slept with her on the first date, the second date should be something chill. Order Pizza and do Netflix and Chill (Your Place or Her Place) That way you can have sex quickly and this will become the norm.
If you brought her home, hooked up, and didn’t have sex with her, you should do a second where you can build more trust/comfort and doesn’t pressure her into having sex with you. If this was me, I would take her out dancing. You can even do dinner then dancing afterwards as well. Dinner is the comfort/trust and dancing is the sexual. Women correlate sex with dancing. Salsa is a good example. The way you move will determine how passionate/good you are in bed. So of course, sexual dancing will lead to provocative thoughts and there will be a good chance it can lead to sex that night. Most importantly, you must develop the comfort and trust needed, which will then make the sex likely to occur on the 2nd or possibly the third date.
If you didn’t bring her home on the first date, you should set up a date that will logistically favor you or hers. That way when the date is over you can easily go back to your place or her place.
Example: A bar that is few blocks away from my place. Or a great Italian restaurant that is a quick car ride away. And afterwards you take her back to your place for wine or champagne.
If you choose the wrong second date scenario, you have a higher chance of her flaking on you or being less responsive. You got to be smart in the situation you are in. What I mentioned above is Generally speaking because they’re also alternatives and variables in mind but no need to get into that. That’s why with experience you get better and better.
- THIS IS A BIG ONE. YOU DIDN’T FUCK HER GOOD ENOUGH
Guys, I feel bad for saying this but I got to be straight up. That is the reality. You had sex with her on the first date and your performance wasn’t good enough. Maybe you cummed too quick, maybe you got the bad end of whiskey dick and you had a hard time getting it up, or you did not sexually please her to her expectations/needs.
Some women will give you a second chance. Other women will not give a fuck and will put you on their very own group chat and talk mad shit about you to her friends.
How do you avoid this situation entirely?
- Build everything up. - Have Patience. Make her feel Comfortable. Earn her trust.
- Explore her body – Touch her skin as much as possible. Explore her body. Embrace it. Kiss her neck and go slowly down her spine. Take your time. This is a marathon. Not a sprint.
- Dominance – Tell her what to do. Pin her down. Spank her. Pull her hair. Fuck her from the back in front of the mirror. Let her immerse herself to you and enjoy the sexual experience you are providing.
- Passion – Eye Contact. Move with her body. Enjoy the moment. Connect with her on a deep level before sex helps out a lot as well. You can Play Music on the background while having sex too.
- Stimulate the clit and vagina as much as possible – There are many different positions you can do to stimulate both at the same time. Do your research
- Rhythm – You need a good rhythm. Variety helps out a lot. One moment you can go jack hammer style and the next you can go Keith Sweat 90’s R&B slow and deep thrusts. Always mix it up
- Communication – Dont be scared to talk dirty to her. At the same time, don’t be scared if you want to moan a little. Women actually get more turned on by this.
You want to be the guy who has full confidence and full control of the situation. She can feel safe, she can trust you, and she knows she will get fucked good by you.
3.YOU DIDN’T MAKE THE MOVE FAST ENOUGH
What do I mean by this? Well, lets put it like this. An attraction has an expiration date.
If you move too slow, the attraction will expire. If you move too quick, you will scare her away. By moving too slow, she will think of you differently (Nice way to put it) and she will either friendzone you or entirely avoid your text messages altogether.
How to move faster with a girl on the first date?
Bring her back to your place or hers – First dates should be set up logistically in your favor so you can go back to your place and hook up with her. At the very minimal, you should always invite every girl back to your place on the first date. And if you do things right, she will say yes to your invitation.
Lead her to more than one venue – Don’t stay at the same place for 2 hours either. Take her from one bar to another bar and then back to your place. It keeps the date fun, moving, and flowing
Make things sexual – Sexual escalation is key. I have dropped several articles relating to this as well as lay reports. You must learn how to develop a sexy vibe around women and get physical
- FIRST DATE CONVERSATION MISTAKES
What kind of things do you talk about on your first dates? If you notice a pattern of several unsuccessful first dates, then think about what type of conversations you have. Are you a go with the flow type person or do you have a more strategic approach
Personally, I have a combination of go with the flow and strategic. Go with the flow because I never know exactly what we are going to talk about but I do know how to strategically turn these to my advantage and build a connection/make it sexual to therefore have the greater likelihood of things ending the way I want it to end.
Most of the time people with go with the flow approach don’t know what the fuck they are doing. They are lost. No plan of action. They just go with it and if they get lucky then they get lucky.
In order to connect with her and make conversations flirty/sexual you need to develop a plan.
A good conversation has 3 things
Helps you Connect with her – Her Horoscope, Dreams, Passions, where does she want to travel to
Pushes the date forward - Helps you make things more intimate later on. By that I mean what she finds sexy in a guy, favorite sex positions, biggest turn ons, taking her to different locations, and always be leading.
Handles Logistics/Objections - Resolves any issues relating to time frame, taking her home, cockblocking friends. Etc
If you’re not getting second dates, it’s probably because your conversations are stalling out, you’re failing to connect with her, you’re failing to make things flirty, or you’re failing to lead her. These types of topics will help you do all of those things, as well as give you the right questions to ask a girl.
- YOU MESSED UP WITH YOUR TEXT GAME
Text Game messes many people up. Even if the first date goes well as well
Common Texting Mistakes
• Being her text buddy (texting her all day without moving things forward or with no purpose)
• Not confirming the 2nd date right away
• Being Needy (Paragraphs, Double texts, Stupid jokes, texting back too fast, etc.)
When texting a girl, there are 2 objections you need to do and the 3rd one is optional
Build little rapport/comfort - You didn’t get a chance to do this when you met her because the interaction went by too quick
Set up the Date/Meeting
Make things more sexual (Sending her pictures/videos of you in the shower or a no shirt gym selfie. Get her doing the same as well. This is a part of the Build up I mentioned earlier as well. This is building up the sexual tension)
YOU MISSED THE SIGNS
A lot of guys wait for the right signs to make the move. The biggest issue here is they don’t even know what the signs even are. Therefore the girl is left wondering, wtf is going on here? Does he like me or is he afraid to make the move?
This makes her a lot more hesitant to go on the second date. After all, why would she want to hang out with a guy who either doesn’t like her, or is afraid to go for what he wants with women?
Here are some simple signs she’ll give you when she wants you to make a move and/or take her home:
She’s receptive to your touch, and touches you back
She follows your lead without question
She gets in your personal space (and is comfortable with you in her’s)
She asks you about your living situation
- OUTSIDE CIRUMSTANCES
Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. External circumstances come into play – she has a family tragedy, gets back with her boyfriend, goes a on a long vacation, etc. Whatever the case, the second date doesn’t happen and you don’t have much control of it.
You usually won’t know when it’s the result of external circumstances, so it’s better to analyze your first date based on the other reasons here, and consider which things you need to work on.
Wrapping Up Why You Didn’t Land the Second Date
When you want to see a girl again but can’t land the second date, it sucks. But by understanding the reasons listed here, you can land second dates a lot more consistently.
To recap, here are the 7 reasons why you didn’t land the second date:
The wrong second date strategy
You didn’t fuck her well enough
You didn’t move fast enough
First date conversation mistakes
You screwed up with your text game
You missed her signs
Outside circumstances
So, keep these in mind, try and correct them, and start enjoying more second dates out there