There is a thought that nothing is permanent. Even that fleeting thought you have while pondering impermanence is not permanent.
Even that thought that has lingered with you for years on end of, "What if I had not made that decision?" will one day pass. Perhaps its final moment will be your final breath. But it will pass and nobody will be there to think that thought, "What if I had not made that decision?"
So, what if you are simply wasting too much time thinking, "What if I had not made that decision?" What if you would have a more adventurous, stable life if you just asked, "What can I do from here to entirely turn my life around and grab the rest of my life and steer its direction under my complete control?"
So many of us hold onto certain pains of which we continually ask that question, "What if I had made a different choice?" "What if I had not proposed? What if I had not walked down the aisle to marry her? What better things could I have done with my time? How much potential did I waste in my prime years sacrificing my body, time, money and spirit to this one woman who initiated this divorce?"
And looking back over those may years, men are understanding the time they gave to their ex wife's priorities and genetic disposition to bare children could have been used in a more productive manner.
I have personally met some very broken men and they seem broken because they hold on to that one question, "What if I had not made that decision?" and it keeps them trapped down a very dark hole.
The sun rises and sets at the same time each day. And all of us, as specks of dust in a universe of specks of dust carry on our day unaware of the potential that lays before us.
The greatest power you have inside you as a divorced man is that energy force of pain that compels you to thrive after divorce, if you only ask a better question.
As you grow to understand that success only comes when motivation creates action, you will then feel that creativity of new ideas envelope you.
I want to take you in a better direction now that your ex has finally left you and give you better perspectives. I will change those dark victim mentality oriented thoughts and flip them so you just see the positives. Then I will help you create some ideas for a business you can pursue. After this, we will work on getting fit and then I will push your mind into a more adventurous path to give you a reason to succeed and see the fruits of all those lessons given to you over the years of your marriage and subsequent divorce. This is what I do as a divorce coach for my clients.
But as I cannot be there with you one-on-one, I will simply write it down as best I can and allow you to take what you like and apply it to your own life. Keep in mind; I am not a Tony Robbins guru. I am also not some second-hand rip off of Tony Robbins. My focus is on the broken divorced man; the financially r*ped man.
Why have I chosen to focus my time on teaching men how to divorce and then thrive after divorce?
Well, in fact it is not about divorce. It is really not even about coaching men to be single. Why would I care about that? I do not care who you f*ck.
What I care about is the environment. I care about cleaning up the oceans and the lands. I care about freeing ourselves of the shackles of the lies we have been told by church, government and society in general that control us.
I know that the roads we drive on and in the cars we drive them on, the buildings we work in, the planes we fly on and the laptop I write this on, were all created by man. Yet so very few of us reach anywhere near our potential as we were taken off the market far too early and then put through the marriage machine and have then been spat out the other side, used up, without money or power to change the world. Too many men are defeated.
I believe that if I can coach divorced men, red pill men, MGTOW men to utilize their time better, this world will be an amazing place.
If you saw my life, you would see I use my time in a very positive way and every time I want to break and think of giving up, I just remember the hell I went through with my ex wife and remember all that she said, that she had the power to say and do such hellish things and that if she had the sociopathic mind to act this way, then I am better pursuing an amazing, adventurous life and creating positivity.
Sometimes, one memory of how she acted or of something she said, forces me to push that extra rep at the gym or close that extra customer, or delivery my product and service in a more professional manner, or dive deeper in my scuba dive, or take that extra luxury when I am travelling. I have that felling of, "fuuuuuaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrkyooooooooooooooo" and I just surge ahead.
But so many guys I have coached go over those same thoughts in their head and drink another defeatist beer, or smoke that extra cigarette, dragging themselves through one more day, depressed they cannot see their children, wallowing in self-pity,
We begin by flipping just one perspective. This is a simple one. And this one is for the multitude of men who cannot see their children on any regular basis:
You pay child support to your ex wife. No, You pay a child care worker to care for your children while you travel, see the world, meet young hotties and make money.
Men I know hate the feeling of paying child support. It has so much negative stigma. However, if you think of what it would cost to actually pay a nanny to wake your children up, feed them, clothe them, get them to school, collect them at the end of the day, clean up their room, wash their clothes and scold them when they are being naughty, you would be extremely in debt.
But if you just think of your ex wife not as a hellish demon but simply as a nanny and housekeeper, you will flip your perspective. Think of your ex wife simply as paid help. She is a nanny/housekeeper.
Every successful man has an assistant, whether it is online or in an office, to do those painful tasks he should avoid doing if he wants to be wealthy and successful. Many successful men have a cleaner to clean the home once per week.
Your ex wife is just that: She is cheap labour.
Being that you will see your children each weekend, or every second weekend and each holiday, your paid nanny is ensuring you sleep soundly in your own bed in your own place and that your children get the very best. And this ensures you are there for your children at the most fun times. You get to be the fun, successful dad. You are the dad who has time to hit the gym and get fit, while your nanny trudges through her day, gaining weight while slowly understanding that life was not so bad after all with you. But hey, too late.
You now have yourself a permanent nanny. You have all of your free time back and will have all that love to give your children in their most vulnerable years.
How lucky it is you have a nanny for your children! And you got her at a bargain. To have a full time nanny would normally cost you double or triple what you pay your ex beast of a wife. Simply be civil and professional and pay her what is due.
And enjoy all that free time! Lucky you!
Here is the next perspective shift.
You are too old to find new love and have zero game. What a great thing you have learned that love in a relationship is just a short-term illusion and that game can be solved by having money and a passport.
One MASSIVE take away from my divorce is, as far as relationships are concerned, forget the west. Western culture is amazing for men in the area of making money and keeping fit. As for relationships, you cannot continue with western women for anything except friendship.
Now, I am not saying short-term romances can't be a thing. But I am asking the cost in time in order to have that. I can prove it. Register yourself on two different dating sites; one in your own country and either one on an Asian dating site or eastern European website. Have great photos and a very positive profile to show your good nature. Don't be sleazy. Be good.
I GUARANTEE you that by the end of just one month, you will be approached by women up to half your age and twice as feminine as your ex wife on the non western dating site and I GUARATEE you that for all the overweight, short-haired, or masculine looking feminists you try to contact on the western site, maybe one percent will reply and that you will only be approached by the worst of the worst on that western dating site.
Why is this so? Finances and opportunity. Oh, and self-entitlement.
Western women have been trained to expect the very best while only needing to put in the bare minimum in the way of career drive, kindness, femininity and fitness. On the other side, Asian women and eastern European women will forego some of the standards they expect of their own countrymen, in order to have access to the opportunities you present them.
I personally have had multiple conversations with women abroad whose parents encourage them to only marry a foreigner because the future can be brighter. But as you know this, you can control the outcome.
Now all you require is money and a passport. I am not saying at all that this is all the foreign women want. But I am saying it is a large factor. They wrap their love up in their need for better opportunities; opportunity to have a family, opportunity to have a larger home, opportunity for financial stability and a man to hold at night, a more valuable passport, higher status male in the eyes of her society and somebody who can tell her how beautiful she is and love her.
When you understand this, again, it comes back to earning money and being fit. How lucky it is you do not need so much game in the adventure that lays ahead.
HOWEVER, the fitter you are and the more social skills you obtain, the easier it will be to attract those amazing foreign women. Generally speaking, socially retards have a difficult time in all areas of life. But it is not impossible for them in the right market.
OK, these are just two lessons of perspective shift when you are learning how to divorce. And as I have many more articles to come, I need many to save for later.
Hopefully, you feel more positive and you can begin to feel more creative, free from that darkness.
If so, let's move on to the next step: Creating new money making ideas.
In a world where billions of people making money in multiple ways, why is it you only make money in the way you currently do? Why can't you do what they do? Skill? Lack of opportunity?
It does not take much to carve out your own slice of financial real estate.
I believe you can monetize everything. For example, look at pick up artists. OK, this might be a lowbrow example. But this is entirely the point. Pick up artists get paid because they learned to talk effectively with women. And so guys just pay them to learn those same skills.
Look at private investigators that do surveillance. It does not take much to buy a few cameras and then post an ad on some message board, to be hired to sit in your car for hours to spy on somebody. OK. Well, you may need some certifications, which you can easily obtain with the right course and you may need insurance. But boom, done. You have extra money.
I know somebody who just became good at creating bouquets and flower arrangements. She had a friend who owned a delivery van. They both set up the website, created a partnership and boom, business away. Amazingly profitable and does not sap away all of their time. She creates one day. He delivers the next.
Your profits are then divided into savings, debt reduction and then re investments. But you don't need to entirely change your job. This is all secondary money unless it grows beyond your expectations.
There really is a life after divorce for men, you know. You can thrive after divorce. On my own website I have spent a lot of time creating a complete program to teach divorced men the skills they need to thrive after divorce.
I will keep writing to you here and hopefully you will take something away from it all and create a brighter future that inspires others.
Until then!
There is far too much to read on the Internet. More and more divorced men are seeking self help but there is actually so little of it focused purely for men going through divorce.
So as you are creating new skill sets, plus as you have that drive time to and from work or on the train, I have devised a complete audio series for divorcing or divorced men for how to divorce, which includes interviews with a legal professional, private investigator and family counsellor plus two live seminars and sales and dating audio programs to get the divorced man on a path to success.
It is only $29.95
You can check it out here:
https://www.thriveafterdivorceformen.com/
The more success you have in life, the more positive the changes you can make in this very crazy, destructive society we live in.
I hope some of what I have created helps you.