Romance and relationships are a part of life. For some of us, they remain mysterious. For others, they bring us joy.
I have been married to the love of my life for over 16 years. We married after finals week, enjoyed our honeymoon during winter break, and then finished up our last semester of college.
Our journey has been an adventure. Adventures are supposed to be fulfilling, but they also present challenges as well. Our adventure has included:
- living overseas for over 10 years
- returning back to the United States
- dealing with job loss
- raising a family (a large family that is)
- learning about each other and how to help the other grow
- ministering to the needs of others while we are hurting ourselves
But I can think of no one else whom I would rather journey with. My wife is a kind and caring woman. She serves me, my family, and others from an abundance of joy in her heart. I think she is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes on. I am blessed that I call her wife, friend, and lover.
How did I know that she was "the one"?
There are two questions that I recommend all couples answer when deciding if they are willing to give their lives to each other.
Can you live without your significant other?
This question focuses on your emotions.
- How do you feel when you see that person?
- How do you feel when you are around that person?
This is the typical movie stereotype when a love-struck girl screams, "I will die if I can not be with him!" New love invokes this type of response in our hearts. It is both mesmerizing and intoxicating, but it often causes us to glance over (or downright ignore) characteristics in the other person that are less than flattering.
The answer to the "Can you live without the other person?" is answered by the heart. I fully support people who feel a deep and meaningful romantic connection with another person. I desire that for my wife and I, but I need to remind you that emotions change. For some of us, emotions change quickly and drastically.
So many people "fall out of love" as quickly as they fell into it because emotions are dictating their relationships. Once again I want to affirm the emotional connection you are looking for, but there are other factors that we need to consider as well. When emotions fail, are you still committed to the other person?
Can you live every day for the rest of your life with your signifcant other?
You need to be able to answer NO to question #1 before moving on to question #2. If you already answered YES, you need to break up with the person you are with and find someone who invokes an emotional response in your heart (at least at some level). Sorry to be so blunt, but it is not fair to drag someone along who you are not emotionally committed to.
If you answered NO to question #1 and are not ready to answer YES to question #2 you need need to re-evaluate your relationship. I am not saying that you have to break up (yet), but you need to be honest with yourself and the other person about why you are not ready to make an even deeper commitment.
We answer question #2 with our heads.
- Can you wake up every morning for the rest of your life and smile when you see the other person?
- Can you get past the "bad habits" that you are starting to see or will you try to change the other person?
- Are you willing to enter into a covenant relationship with the other person or will you cut loose as soon as things get bad?
- Is "for better or worse" a simple phrase or a lifestyle?
- Are you on the same page in regards to marriage, children, finances, dreams, and goals?
Can you live with the one for the rest of your life? If you answer is NO, then you have not yet found the person you are looking for.
Final Thoughts
I believe that love is wonderful and beautiful. I believe that marriage is sacred and the best way to live out a romantic relationship (I know a lot of people might disagree with me on this point). I believe that marriage is a covenant relationship, not a convenient relationship.
If you are wondering if you have meet the one. Be sure to ask yourself:
- Can you live without your significant other?
- Can you live every day for the rest of your life with your significant other?
If you are ready to answer NO then YES, congratulations! If you answered YES and NO , ask yourself why and consider ending your relationship so that you have the freedom to find true love (and so that you give freedom to the other person in your life to do the same).
@SumtraNate
Image Source: https://pixabay.com/en/desktop-background-love-in-love-3061483/