I have been in recovery for five years now. So no alcohol has passed my lips but I have allowed myself to indulge in other areas. I see quite a few girls come and go and don't usually think romantically about any of them. One complicated personality is enough for any household in my view, though some disagree.
But there is one young woman who keeps turning up and seems to be slowly gravitating towards me. Of course there is a problem:
She has a cocaine issue.
I'm primarily an alcoholic who had a soft drug habit and I always shied away from people who used cocaine. Not because I didn't like to party but because I always knew I had an addictive personality and the idea of becoming a cocaine addict scared the hell out of me.
So I don't know what to do. I would love to find a new girlfriend, and one in recovery, but I have to be sensible. They say that relationships are the number one cause of relapse but being single has its problems too. On several occasions I have slipped into gambling and smoked a joint or two. I allow this because I believe that people should take it easy in recovery and focus on the main problem. I don't sponsor people yet because of this.
She usually lasts a year or so but then slips. I wonder if I could or should try and build a relationship with her that would benefit us both or if I should stand back? I don't want to let a good thing go but I don't want to risk endangering my recovery or hers.
She's not a dead cert by any means and may well be out of my league, tall, attractive, a few years younger than me and outwardly successful.
Would you or wouldn't you?