Should I Face It?

I have a few tricks to knowing if I should face a trauma. Cuz it's not always apparent, and it is also not always a good idea.

I don't recall any real trauma from my childhood. I mean, there were issues, some abuses and dysfunctions from growing up, but no TRAUMA that I am aware of.

As an adult though -- that's a different story. I have trauma from both marriage and divorce. Some things went really badly, and played out for several years in a way that the only way to deal with it was to tuck it away, maybe forever.

So now...as I'm trying to make some new things happen in my life, I find myself running up against very large, very thick, and very impenetrable walls of "leave this alone."

It feels like that scene in Endgame when Thanos tore through Captain America's indestructible shield with his sword like it was cardboard. This shield that I've put up is supposed to PROTECT me from pain, and keep me from having to feel or think about those things again.

But it's been a problem lately. This happens every time I want to grow or expand a little. And right now would be one of those times. I'm trying to manifest some things, and the subconscious is being a jackass stubborn mule.

So it's time to hit the subconscious reprogramming again.

In the old days, this used to be psychotherapy and breathing exercises.

Now, it's mindful meditation, nightly 8-hour self concept affirmations, hypnotherapy, tapping affirmations, and breathing exercises.

I believe in order to reach this next benchmark in my life, and achieve the things I'd like to achieve, I've got to overcome these monsters in my mind. It's got to be done. I've done it before with tremendous success. But there are still some beliefs and some memories in there that keep those beliefs alive. And they are no longer welcome. Or serving me. I don't think it could be any worse than anything I've ever done, and I made it through that just fine. With amazing results of productivity both mentally and otherwise.

So it's time. And I'm getting close because I can feel the stuff coming up. It's not pleasant. Nightmares, anxiety, feelings of panic...it starts to creep in. But I've got a good coach, and a great plan to tackle it all.

And I guess we'll see you on the other side! What I plan to manifest for myself is something I'd like to be able to share with others when the time comes. And help more people to be able to achieve their dreams as well. And I know it can be done.