Marriage is a partnership — not just emotionally, but also financially. As wives, many of us grew up with the idea that "a man should provide." But what happens when your man spends recklessly, doesn’t save, and leaves you feeling like the only adult in the room?
This post isn’t to shame anyone — it’s a cry for balance, understanding, and strategy.
🔍 Recognizing the Signs
You may be dealing with poor financial planning if your husband:
Buys on impulse without thinking long-term
Doesn’t believe in budgeting
Borrows money regularly with no repayment plan
Keeps financial secrets
Refuses to talk about money or shuts down when you try
It’s frustrating. You feel like you’re planning for two… while he’s living for today.
🧠First Step: Check Your Emotions
Before tackling his behavior, check yours. Are you:
Resentful and bitter?
Afraid for your future?
Angry that you're carrying the load?
All are valid feelings. But don’t let emotions lead the conversation. Lead with love and wisdom, not accusation.
💬 Talk, Don’t Attack
Set aside time and talk — not during an argument or financial crisis. Start gently:
“Babe, I’ve been thinking a lot about our finances. I feel like we’re not building toward anything solid. Can we look at our money together?”
Use “we”, not “you”. The goal is unity, not blame.
đź“š Financial Literacy: Learn Together
Maybe he was never taught. Many men were told to "provide" but never trained to plan. Suggest learning together:
Read books like Smart Money Woman or The Richest Man in Babylon
Watch YouTube channels like The Financial Diet or Nigerian Budgeting with Fisayo Fosudo
Listen to money podcasts together
Make it fun, not a lecture.
đź“ť Create a Joint Budget
Involve him in simple ways:
Plan the month’s expenses together
Give him a role: fuel budget, groceries, or monthly bills
Review together every weekend or month-end
You can use budgeting apps or even a notebook — just start.
🙋‍♀️ What If He Still Doesn’t Care?
If he remains passive, take temporary leadership. Handle the money — but keep him in the loop. Don’t make him feel “less of a man.” Show results: savings, reduced debt, peace of mind.
Over time, he may grow to appreciate and even support your lead.
🚩 When It’s Deeper
If he’s gambling, lying, or putting your family in financial danger, it’s time for:
Serious conversations
Possibly counseling
Protecting yourself (separate savings, know his debt status)
Love is not foolishness.
🙏 Faith and Values
As a Christian woman myself, I believe in financial stewardship. We’re called to be faithful with little — and great things follow. Pray together. Invite God into your finances.
đź’ˇ Closing Thoughts
Money shouldn’t destroy a marriage. But poor planning, pride, and silence can. Dear wife, don’t suffer in silence. Speak up with love. Lead with wisdom. And don’t be afraid to take action if your future is at risk.
Because when couples plan together — they build together.