Pretending to develop the notion of "letting go" in few lines would, in my view, be lacking respect for this fundamental path to happiness.
In another hand, claiming to develop this same notion with formulas or theories seems absurd to me, so... I guess it would be more judicious to approach this topic which is dear to me, by this : My own experiences by the practice of Martial Arts, namely, the "internal practice" as Tai Ji Quan proposes, which guided me to what is called : "Do... and let do".
drawing with ball pen
Back to my childhood, I often watched with astonishment Mum and Dad, both standing, facing the sunrise. Immobile for a time's laps that seemed, for a six old child, endless. Sometimes I felt asleep by watching them, and at my wake up an hour later, I found them exactly in the same position, the arms rounded in front their belly.
Of course, to my question: "Dad, why don't you move, Mum and you?" His answer was somehow unclear: "I seem not moving, but actually, I'm practicing a martial art."
For me, obviously, practicing kung fu was moving in all directions, hitting and kicking imaginary opponents with terrible screams. This, I had witness him in this kind of practice, regularly, as well as very impressive fights between my father and his students. But here, I didn't understand. I insist, and repeat the same question... which got no answer.
The answer came finally later one year later, from my father's Tai Ji Quan Master.
My mother, father and their Tai Ji Quan Master, Maître Ti Pi Jan
Not really impressed and already stubborn as a stone, from my 7 years' height, I came toward the respected Master and asked him THE question: "Why one do not move for hours and one says that is practicing kung fu anyway? "
He laughs, turns off his cigarette, puts down his glass and, on the lawn in front of our house, performs a form of Tai Ji Quan. Quite tall for an Asian (1m75), he seemed all shortened though during his performance, very low and anchored...
Once finished, he said to me: "That was DOING." Then, he went to the rainwater tank under the roof, put himself in the same still position as my parents'. His hands, however, were flat, few inches above the calm water's surface. He stayed like that for a few minutes ... and my father told me to come nearby. Before my amazed eyes, fine lines began to form on the surface of the water under the palms of the man. He moved them in a circle, and the movement of the water followed perfectly his hands' move. He released and with a radiant smile, declare : "And that is DOING without DOING."
Since that moment and throughout my life, I tend toward "doing without doing" ... in other words, "practice without practice".
Practicing Tai Ji Quan is first of all settle the body in place, searching for a good structure ... I then spend my practice time building a good structure, from the bottom to top, checking all the articulations, all the axes, their links of movement.
I tried to MAKE the body structure as "clean" as possible and often worked in front of the mirror. But that, obviously, was not really satisfying... The practice instilled an impression of permanent control, therefore, of permanent "limits", of "prison" omnipresent.
When I executed my Tai Ji Quan Form, I kept on following the ethical, conventional and structural requirements: By regular practicing, the body had acquired this construction ... And for an outside observer, it was correct, indeed, quality was here.
For my inner "glance", however, my Tai Ji was soulless ... uninhabited, like an empty house. A standing and solid house, of course, but an empty house. I finished my practice with tensions in the body and discontent in the heart.
kung fu panda, Dream Works animation
The understanding switch occurred finally during a lesson with my teacher. I performed my sequence 108, as usual, focused on the quality of the structure, and especially that day, I made sure my knees were in the right direction. At the end of my sequence, my teacher quoted to me: "You are too hard in your knee." Too hard" ? the notion of "hardness" concerning a knee is not clear for me... He explained :
"You have too much will in your knee."
"Yes ... But some will is needed if I want it to be in the right place..."
To my spontaneous answer, he invited me to start again the sequence, forgetting my knee but pay instead more attention to the hip articulation's descent on the support leg. Just pay attention, not "wanting" to do anything.
Don't be afraid to let go on the structure and the assurance it gives: Take the risk of giving up the apparent strength of control. The result was not long to wait: My knee was in its exact place without any voluntary intervention on my part. All I "did" was giving up on "doing". And the resulting sensation had the effect of a real pressure release : I no longer felt this usual tension in my knee, but on the contrary, I felt a knee FREE TO BE AT HOME : A living knee, communicating, connecting and EXISTING. A "happy knee" indeed. That day was to be marked with a white stone, because I found the key of the door I have long to open.
This adventure began with the knee, this articulation is one of the "axis" in martial practice, but also carries a special symbolism: "The valet of two Masters" (obeying from the hip AND from the ankle), according to Boris Dolto. This delicate position requires attentive listening, immediate adaptability and dynamic flexibility, with a real "given up" of its own identity. I took it as a teaching both in terms of physical feeling, practical and personal. .
Then came the contribution of "Tui Shou" (pushing hands). Undoubtedly understanding that the time had come, during an exchange, my Teacher made me feel the difference between "wanting to do something" in response to an opponent action, and the "not doing", facing the same action.
Here, the "not doing" is not "doing nothing" which is therefore being non-living, non-reactive, non-receiving, non-giving, non-existent, non-communicative.
"Not doing" is the art of putting all the conditions in place in response to a proposed action, then to "let do" what has been put in place : Plant the seed and let it grow... The result then is not that important. The important is what has been "done" before and in this "letting do". Very often, even before the result shows up, the tui shou "answer" has been already completed instantly from the very moment it was given : Thus, obviously, nothing has been "done", but everything has already been concluded . And the adventure went on ...
My practice mate and myself
It continued one day with my practice's mate, while exchanging our feelings and movement on the "Tai Ji walk", she quoted me the same way of my Teacher : "You put too much craving in your back leg in order to step forward. " Then, more explanation : "Put your whole body in the state where your back leg can be pulled forward all by itself, without any need to "order" the step's move from your mind... A result instead of an action. "
So I put more weight on my support leg, turned my hips a little more towards the raised hand and simply by replacing my pelvis, my leg seemed to come all alone, pulled by an invisible elastic. Again, I experimented the "Do, then let go" thing... No more control, but a fluidity resulting from a new freedom.
The revelation spread to all the Tai Ji form ... and to this day, during the training, I can feel my house inhabited ... Some habitant seem willing to live in.
Thus, in my Tai Ji Quan classes, I always put in place the conditions fit for each student, in the best possible way, then I let go.
It is always with admiration and recognition that I look at students evolve, smiling or frowning, in their constant progress. I do not "want" anything anymore : Just plant the seed and discover, amazed, the growing flower.
THANK YOU for having followed me in this adventure and see you soon for others "Tai Ji Quan" adventures !
Your Tiloupsa