I like getting in front of art. Taking a look at the picture. Be silent. Let the mind travel. Gauge my feelings. Let the painting affecting me.
I don't get paid for doing it. It would be awesome, but I don't. Looking at art has some obligations. Buying tickets, dressing, charging my digicam, driving to the place. Well, I have also to work daily to make my hobby affordable. Usual everyday stuff anybody would do.
When I look at one painting to which I relate it becomes my memory. This memory can last 5 years or forever. Usually, I take pictures of that painting. My insurance policy, as I'm not sure if the memory will be there tomorrow.
Why an innocent memory does make so much buzz?
I have a lot of those bright moments, who over the course of time and many years in the future, create a map of myself. This map tells me where I am heading and what is missing to feel complete. On the opposite front, you know, there is another map. This one is clustered with moments of failure, regret, pain, sorrow, and mistakes. This is the map you want to forget. I will give you a reason not trying to do it.
Chances are high this negative map is more present in your mind then the positive one. This is evolutionary conditioning. I and you exist, because we learned from our mistakes, became determined to evolve. If anybody sucked and did not improve over time he/she got removed from the gene pool. In the past, this was instant death, today its a slow death of living poor.
Hence, I embraced both maps, as they are crucial for my personal development and balance.
Accepting myself as I am and improving my flaws is an everyday task worth doing. Aiming at filling my life with more positive memories is one big reason I wake up each morning. Even if you eat a monstrous sandwich with ham and eggs or playing counterstrike for hours. You value those moments to be worth living them.
For the outside world, this may seem like you waste your time and doing bad nutrition. What matters is how YOU VALUE those moments. You don't have an eternity on this earth. Thinking about where and how you spent your time should be important to you.
If after evaluating your activities you feel the same, go for it, do what you love. Just to tease you, this is the main reason why it is so difficult to change those habits. You have to believe they aren't worth your time. Saying it is easy, doing it is another story. A story which I will tell you next time we meet.