I had friends

I thought

Then I learned something really valuable.

People don't give a shit about other people.

People care about themselves. When it comes to other people... people care about what they can get.

"But I really do care." "But that isn't everyone." "There's good ones out there, ya just have to look."

Fuckin hogwash! I've heard it all before. The proof is in the pudding. Talk is fuckin cheap.

When there is nothing more to get people could care less.

I've been in nearly every walk of life you can think of. I've been rich, poor, destitute and thriving. I've worn countless hats in life. I've had "friends" in even more walks of life, countries, cultures than my own (not through the internet, actual first person shit here like in the old days when people looked at each other). And I don't just say this shit either. I'm one of the few people you've met that really went out there and did shit. I traveled all over, I started more businesses than I can even remember just cause I liked to learn how the different ones worked. I've studied more individual topics than most professors could keep up with.

I've seen what humans have to offer and personally I find it sickening and I'm bored to death with it.

People are scandalous, they steal from one person then express their integrity to the next. They lie to get what they want and they trample over whoever is in the way of their goals.

It's no wonder scary rich white folk want to thin the herd.

My family is no different yet for some reason they beat into me this idea that doing things selflessly is a good thing. That I should do as many selfless things as I can in life cause that will somehow help.

And I bought it. Hook line and sinker. Fuck, I was chewing on the bobber before I woke up.

When I traveled extensively, nearly all I did was help people. If I had 2 of something, I would give one to a complete stranger without hesitation if it was clear they needed it. If all I had to eat was a piece of bread and now there is a person beside me that has no piece of bread then I only had half a piece of bread to eat cause they were getting half.

This wasn't a decision, it wasn't for any reason exept pure natural sense. I genuinely gave a shit if other people were ok and would naturally step in to help. I would commonly give past my own comfort level, especially if the person in need had less.

When I was living in the woods with tons of hippies that barely knew where food comes from and people are getting sick, what do I do? I fucking learned medicine. I sat the fuck down, with books (Those scary things people used to roll joints with. Those rectangular shaped objects humans use to feel better than you.) and I studied the human body, how it works and what the hell it means when something is out of whack. I studied treatments for this and that, the 4 genre of infection, the diagnostic differences between infections and other types of ailments. Then started healing everyone around me for free. They sure as hell weren't going to do it and simply by nature I stood up and did it.

Did I ask for money? Did I owe them? Were they my friends? Did I tell them to tell their friends? Did they even know my name in most cases?

Nope. Personally I didn't care at all about any of that. Selling medicine to me has always felt wrong. It's taking advantage during a time of great desperation in a person and is a dark, dark magic.

It has taken me being destitute a few times in my life though to see the truth though. People don't actually help other people selflessly. I was a fucking anomaly (sucker) being taken advantage of nearly everywhere I went.

People help people when they can gain themselves from it. People are also very afraid of other people having issues. They straight up run the fuck away from them.

If you ever want to know the truth about the people around you. Lose everything. It will teach you more about humanity than a degree in anthropology ever could.

Humans believe that if they are next to you while you are being negative that they will also become negative. Well, they are right. You will start to rub off on anyone next to you no matter how you feel. That is precisely why you should stand right next to your friends when they are down and fucking take it. Emotions aren't a permanent state. Quite the contrary as emotions come and go sometimes so fast you can't even understand why. Yet people still see a person that is down and see something completely finite. It's like every single other thing they ever knew about you is now null and void. You've been upset. They were just upset yesterday but now that you are, they can't be next to it.

Someone can straight up steal from you. In front of another person claiming this elusive friendship with you, and you of course get upset (I mean, who likes being stolen from?) and that is it. You got upset, it could rub off, time to bail.

You can be desperate as fuck, screaming for help and all people can see is that you're upset and poof, gone. Africans aren't the only people that need help. Silly Americans, tricks are for kids.

So, did being selfless all those years do anything?

Yes, it did a lot.

Every single one of those people was helped and I was happy to have helped.

People seem to think it goes further than that. That if you've helped others a lot there will magically be someone there to help you as well. That could not be further from the truth. When there's not you certainly feel like there should be though. The only personal gain that helping people gives you is that smile having done it. Feeling good that you did. Most people could care less about that little of a gain and therefor literally do not do it. Meaning in fact that it's actually more likely for you to not have anyone there for you when you need it if you do in fact help other people. I'll say it again... Because you're the fucking anomaly.

So you can be the one to give a hand up to literally thousands and still not have anyone there at all when you need it. Because... you're the fucking anomaly. You think it's normal cause you do it. When in fact, people don't help people selflessly.

When a person says "I got your back man." or "I'm here for you." It's not actually meant. They should really be saying "I like you when you're positive cause I can absorb it. I'll help when you're down if I feel there is something to gain from you later." That is much closer to the real meaning.

Ever heard this one?

If you can't take me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

It's true.

Why the fuck would I keep giving my positive energy away to people that run away whenever I'm negative? Or worse, rob me of it and anything else not nailed down because if I am being negative there must be something wrong with me as a person.

It boils down to a simple English word: encouragement.

If you give a shit about someone at all, all it fucking takes is encouragement.

No one likes to talk about negative shit. It is however the sacrifice you're making when you call yourself a friend.

It's hard to encourage. Mostly because you have to first stop thinking about your own shit long enough to even hear the other person. Then you have to actually listen long enough you can put yourself in their shoes to understand. If you don't do all that then your encouragement will be fake, and feel slimy. You'll have yourself convinced you "helped" meanwhile you still won't even know what is really going on with a person. You're not helping. You're acting.

You know how when you have an issue of your own to solve and eventually you do? During that time you had not yet, you were thinking about it. Because you were thinking about it and idea popped up.

This is how you can tell if you're actually there for someone or not.

If you actually know enough about their life that you can ponder it in this way (from actually paying attention, not from fucking assuming) and ideas/solutions start to pop up. You might be a friend to someone.

If you're walking around somewhere and see something and say "I bet so and so would like this. (based on actually knowing so and so, not hearing that they fucking like dolphins) You might be a friend to someone.

If you ever see something and go "That is exactly what so and so was looking for the other day." You might be a friend to someone.

These types of situations show us that we do actually think about this or that other person. Even the best of us today are often much to busy to even hear the people around us when they are there. Let alone hear them when they are down or in need. To many of us don't want to hear negative things. Even when they come from people we call friends.

I know now why depression can actually lead to suicide. It's because you go invisible. When a person is depressed, so many people turn away from them its silly. In some cases it's all of the people that person even knows. Not because they don't like the person. Because they were selfish and didn't want to hear them complaining or upset. They say things like "boy Billy sure is acting negative lately" as they slowly peel away from you like you have a plague. The whole time talking shit about the new negative attitude you have instead of remembering it was not there a minute ago.

If you don't think I learned this from experience, you're a fool.

I had friends
by Michael David
Co-founder of #thealliance and loyal since before the egg.