Hey there fellow steemians,
1ST PART
THE ADMITTANCE
Firstly I want to apologize if any of my latest posts of short stories were ever viewed as I'm the author of it. Truth is I'm not even 10% as good as the authors of them.
2ND PART
THE WRONGDOING
So my own wrongdoing actually started a couple of weeks ago (remember that as I'll refer back to that period further on) by simply sharing stories that I've stumbled upon using an app on my phone, at the beginning I was so sure to mention who the author was and if there were any links available to the original work I'd share too, but then it got worse by blindly copying and pasting the content with no proper credits given to the author.
3RD PART
THE FRUSTRATION
I guess right now I'm gratefully aware why the "wrongdoing" part mentioned above actually took place but at the time I wasn't even aware I was tired, frustrated and disappointed which led to me pointing fingers everywhere except towards my own self.
I've been an avid follower of cryptocurrency for the past few years but never did any investment into it and in turn amounted to a part of the frustration I'm feeling right now due to the lost opportunity of gaining revenue from a then small investment.
Another part of the frustration just seeing how the steemit flaws are just having a huge harsh impact on my own self I came across tons of non value adding posts that generated lots of money just for the sake of curation rewards and on the other hand saw lots of great insights and value adding posts being forgotten and left behind in the "minnow desert".
Last reason for the frustration is because of the stagnation I'm facing at my workplace and biased treatment of top managers towards employees reporting to them and I don't want to go much into detail about this now let's keep it for another post.
4TH PART
The Desperation
Just a couple of weeks ago I was surprised to know that I was about to be a father it was unexpected and unplanned and based on the current household income, mathematically my family won't survive once the baby is here which just pushed me to the desperation cycle by trying to generate any extra income and since I have a problem with my own addictive behavior I want that extra money right now, right here and in huge amounts with the least work done.
5TH PART
The Witch-hunt
Sorry @crimsonclad for calling it that but at the time it really did feel like that.
Some guy on the PAL discord channel reported a post of mine as plaigarism and upon inspection the moderators did revoke every single upvote my posts received from the @minnowsupport project or the @gmuxxbot project and forgive my basic human natureI was just burning deep down inside with lots of questions in my head "why would they?" "How could they?" "Why me?" And then I hopped on the msp-abuse section of the discord chat and just kept blabbering in a stupid debate that I can't stop imagining how stupid I sounded whenever I remember it only to see the response from the administrator unlike anything else I've ever came across.
Encouragement and advise on how to be better and why did they follow that course of action and why is it there in the first place.
6TH PART
The Awakening
I've spent so much time today thinking about what happened yesterday and why it happened.
And the only reason why this happened is because my own higher power wanted to guide me back to the right track, it's only through suffering and hardships that a human being evolves into a higher being, I've spent the last couple of weeks forgetting all about my own higher power and how caring and loving it is to me and went through all of these income mathematical equations as if there's no higher power that I believe in that has my back, forgetting that my only role is to do my best and the rest is my own higher power's role.
it's a long ass improvised unprepared unorganized post but i just felt I had to write it to apologise to you fellow steemians and to thank the PAL discord channel members specifically @gmuxx @crimsonclad and @discordiant I'm sorry if I seemed like an ignorant cunt yesterday this post is for you all.
P.S I intended not to insert a single picture
KOS
Keep on Steeming