Hello Great minds! Yesterday I started a series on "Bulding Confidence that Destroys Fear". I hope it is worth your time.
Today, we would consider something even more psychological. So Sit back, relax and feel free to send in constructive contributions.
Efficient Memory Management (EMM)
Much lack of self-confidence can be traced directly to a mismanaged memory. Your brain is very much like a bank. Everyday we make thought-deposits in our "mind bank." These thought-deposits grow and become our memory. When you settle down to think
or when you face a problem, in effect you say to your memory bank, ''What do I already know about this?"
Your memory bank automatically answers and supplies you with bits of information relating to this situation that you deposited on previous occasions. Your memory; then, is the basic supplier of raw material for your new thought.
The Teller in your memory bank is tremendously reliable. He never crosses you up. If you approach him and say; "Mr. Teller, let me withdraw some thoughts I deposited in the past proving I'm inferior to just about everybody else," he'll say; "Certainly; sir. Recall how you failed two times previously when you tried this?
Recall what your sixth-grade teacher told you about your inability to accomplish things ... Recall what you overheard some fellow workers saying about you ... Recall ... "
And on and on Mr. Teller goes, digging out of your brain thought after thought that proves you are inadequate.
But suppose you visit your memory teller with this request: "Mr. Teller, I face a difficult decision. Can you supply me with any thoughts which will give me reassurance?" And again Mr. Teller says, "Certainly, sir," but this time he delivers thoughts you deposited earlier that say you can succeed. "Recall the excellent job you did in a similar situation
before .... Recall how much confidence Mr. Smith placed in you .... Recall what your good friends said about you .... Recall ... "
Mr. Teller, perfectly responsive, lets you withdraw the thought deposits you want to withdraw. After all; it is your
bank.
***Here are two specific things to do to build confidence
through efficient management of your memory bank. ***
Deposit only positive thoughts in your memory bank.
Let's face it squarely: everyone encounters plenty of unpleasant, embarrassing, and discouraging situations. But unsuccessful and successful people deal with these situations in directly opposite ways.
Unsuccessful people take them to heart, so to speak. They dwell on the unpleasant situations, thereby giving them a good start in their memory. They don't take their minds away from them. At night the unpleasant situation is the last thing they think about.
Confident, successful people, on the other hand, "don't give it another thought." Successful people specialize in putting positive thoughts into their memory bank.
What kind of performance would your car deliver if every morning before you left for work you scooped up a double hand-ful of dirt and put it into your crankcase? That fIne engine would soon be a mess, unable to do what you want it to do. Negative, unpleasant thoughts deposited in your mind affect your mind the same way. Negative thoughts produce needless wear and tear on your mental motor. They create worry, frustration, and feelings of inferiority. They put you beside the road while others drive
ahead. Do This: in these moments when you're alone with your thoughts-when you're driving your car or eating, alone-recall
pleasant, positive experiences. Put good thoughts in your memory bank. This boosts confidence. It gives you that "I-sure-feel-good" feeling. It helps keep your body functioning right too.
Here is an excellent plan. Just before you go to sleep, deposit good thoughts in your memory bank. Count your blessings. Recall the many good things you have to be thankful for: your wife or husband, your children, your friends, your health. Recall the good things you saw people do today. Recall your little
victories and accomplishments. Go over the reasons why you are glad to be alive. It matters much.Withdraw only positive thoughts from your memory bank
You know, there would be no need for the services of a psychological consultant if people would do just one thing!
Which is Simply this: "destroy their negative thoughts before those thoughts become mental monsters."
A person can make a mental monster out of almost any unpleasant happening. A job
failure, a jilted romance, a bad investment, disappointment in the behavior of a teenage child are a few monsters.
It is clear that any negative thought, if fertilized with repeated recall, can develop into a real mind monster- breaking
down confidence and paving the way to serious psychological
difficulties.
In an article in Cosmopolitan magazine, "The Drive Toward Self-Destruction," Alice Mulcahey pointed out that compared to suicide/suicide attempts each year, "There is shocking· evidence that millions of other people are killing themselves by slower and less obvious methods. The research also pointed out that others are committing spiritual rather than physical suicide, constantly seeking out ways to humiliate, punish, and generally diminish
themselves. This, infact, is pathetic!
Whether the psychological problem is big or little, the cure comes when one learns to quit drawing negatives from one's memory bank and withdraws positives instead.
Don't build mental monsters. Refuse to withdraw the unpleasant thoughts from your memory bank. When you remember situations of any kind, concentrate on the good part of the experience; forget the bad. Bury it.
If you find yourself thinking about the negative side, turn your mind off completely.
And here is something very significant and very encouraging. Your mind wants you to forget the unpleasant. If you will just cooperate, unpleasant memories will gradually shrivel and the teller in your memory bank will cancel them out this i turn will boost your confidence, that feeling of being on top of the world, will zoom upward. You take a big step forward toward conquering fear when you refuse to remember negative, self-deprecating thoughts.
"When the feeling aroused is pleasant, the advertisement has a better chance
to be remembered" Dr. Melvin,S. Hattwick
I would certainly not fail to acknowledge my mentors here in this community for their utmost support.
@jerrybanfield @ejemai of the house of@stach @samstickkz @evelnyniroh @annieben @vheobong @greenrun @kween001 @ifioklee @ishotz @mrfelix @prettyrose @emmexdee @elizabethscarlet @velimir @perculiar @fidelmboro @rachelrick @jayboss @emmanueladam91 @tojukaka @isteemithard @surpassinggoogle
You all mean a lot.
If you missed the first article, read it here... https://steemit.com/confidence/@dayveedben/build-confidence-and-destroy-fear-part-i-201812t145416157z
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