If there's a single factor in life that promotes success, it is the ability to benefit from defeat. Every success I know has been achieved because the person was able to learn something from defeat and actually profit from it in his next undertaking. If you confuse defeat with failure, then you're doomed indeed to failure. For it isn't defeat that makes you fail; it is your own refusal to see in defeat the guide and incentive to success.
Defeats are nothing to be ashamed of. They are regular incidents in the life of every man who achieves success.
But defeat can't be overcome unless you face it without humiliation; analyze it and learn why you failed to achieve your aim.
A middle aged man inherited his uncle's bookshop which had been fairly successful for more than 20 years. Ambitious to modernize and expand the business, the nephew rented a new shop, put in a larger stock of books, advertised widely and doubled the cost of running the business. A couple of years later, he was bankrupt.
Defeat left him with personal experience of the work, which he had previously lacked - and a lot of secondhand books. He put defeat to work. He built a shed with his own hands on a very busy road and spread his old books all over the place invitingly. Results came with surprising promptness. Within 3 years, he made twice the money he had lost. His defeat prepared him for a satisfying success.
Not only does defeat prepare us for success, it also arouses within us a forceful desire to succeed. If you let a baby grasp a rod and try to pull it away, he will cling more and more tightly until his whole weight hangs from the rod. It is the same reaction which should give you new and greater strength every time you're defeated.
If you use the power which defeat gives, you can accomplish with it far greater than you are capable of when all is well.
There are people who have lost their jobs and are now afraid to ask for work; people whose request for higher pay were rejected and are now afraid to speak to the boss; mothers whose children almost drowned who will no longer permit them to go into the water and learn how to swim.
Any fear of defeat which you yourself do not have will seem ridiculous to you, but probably you have a particular defeat of your own from which you run away with equal unreasonableness.
People try in many ways to disguise the fact that they are running away. The simplest trick is to tell yourself that you're not defeated, that you're making satisfactory progress when, in fact, you're getting nowhere.
Another trick some people play on themselves is to "forget" their defeats. There might be merit in this method if it were possible to completely wipe out unpleasant memories. But it isn't. All you can do is suppress them and this suppression often leads to mental disorders such as fear, depression, hatred and often times too, physical illnesses. This subsequently destroys your self confidence instead of building it up.
If the shock of failure has stunned you momentarily and you can't think clearly, go out to a party, chop down a tree, punch a heavy bag; do something active and unusual. Then sleep for a while. When you wake up, you will find that your brain is thinking clearly and fast.
Now is the time to profit from the lessons you have learnt and start afresh. Note particularly the false values which this temporary setback has removed, then set your basic aims to work. For this profit alone, defeat is worthwhile. Put all your efforts into a thrust towards your goal.
If defeat releases inside you an unbeatable will to win, nothing can keep you from success on your next attempt.
Still me #mapens.