Come on, what are you waiting for?
Let's go up where the devil don't go.
Trust me, it's totally safe up here. You got nothing to worry about way up here with me — up here where the devil ain't!
Dyer Mountain. We're on Dyer Mountain.
Or, more accurately, we're somewhere on Dyer's southwest slopes, on our way to the summit.
Pretty much nobody ever takes this route up Dyer.
Partly because it's technically not really a route … but mostly because it's an almighty godforsaken scramble the likes of which not even the devil himself would attempt.
But hey, the view's nice, right?
Sure, it's a bit steep.
And the scree here is so loose that you slide down a foot for every two you climb.
But that's all part of the fun I promised you!
You are having fun, right?
Great! Because we're almost to the top!
See, I told you! Here we are on the ridgeline already, heading straight for the summit.
Yep, that's Dyer right ahead of us. And you see that peak over there on the right? That's Gemini.
Don't worry, the devil don't go there, neither. I know because I've scouted all through these parts. I've been out here all four seasons of the year, and the devil ain't never been on Gemini — I can certainly assure you of that.
Boom! Summit shot! WOOOOOOO!!!
Down there to the left you can see the ridge that connects Dyer to Gemini. That's actually the boundary between Park and Lake counties.
And all the way over to the right from Gemini you can see Sherman.
What you don't see is the devil, of course. Just like I told you!
He just doesn't come up here at all, ever.
Might as well take another summit shot while we're up here, right?
This time we're looking toward Leadville and all the way across the Arkansas River Valley. That's the Sawatch Range off in the distance.
Pretty cool, huh?
Well, it's freezing up here. Probably best to head down now.
Heading down into the Iowa Amphitheater.
This technically isn't a route, either. I just really like traveling off the beaten path.
You can see the Dyer-Gemini ridgeline again from here. And I think that's some kind of powerline structure thingy way over there.
Now swing a bit to the right, head down a bit more …
… and there it is!
You see that old shack down there? Yeah, right down there below us. You see it? That's where the devil lives.
It's cozy inside. Pretty classy, too. He just remodeled the master bath, and let me tell you, it is niiiiiice. Jacuzzi tub and everything!
Alright, well, time to get this over with. C'mon now, let's not keep the devil waiting.
What? No, I said follow me UP where the devil don't go. Down is where the devil fucking LIVES, man. I never said anything about not bumping into the devil on the way down.
Up. Down. Do you see the difference?
And do you have any idea how much the devil pays when I bring them alive? No, I guess you probably don't.
It's like, ten times what he pays for the corpses! I've been making bank for the past few weeks on idiots like you.
What? Dude, c'mon. Are you seriously not hearing the words coming out of my mouth right now?