There are a few moments in one's life that causes their life to flash before their eyes. I swear that one of them happened to me almost thirty years ago while I was watching Happy Gilmore (alone) in a theater.
I love movies so much that it has never been a problem for me to go and see one by myself. I get so involved in them that it honestly doesn't matter who is sitting next to me. I'm not going to talk during the movie so who cares if the seat is empty or not? That is not to say I don't also love going with my friends and family. There is lots of pre and post movie talk and it is a shared experience. But anyway, I went to see Happy Gilmore by myself.
Today, I am about 50/50 when it comes to Adam Sandler movies, I loved Airheads, Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore, and The Wedding Singer. After that, his comedies were either hit or miss with several really really bad ones (I'm looking at you Little Nicky). His recent serious ones like Uncut Gems and Hustle have been surprisingly good. But back in 1996 I only had his Saturday Night Live skits, Airheads and Billy Madison to set my expectations for Happy Gilmore. Since I absolutely loved Billy Madison and still quote it to this day, I remember looking forward to Happy Gilmore quite a bit.
I also remember having a really bad cough the day I went to see the movie. It was probably the worst cough I've had pre Covid. And not knowing what I know now, I didn't do the polite and respectful thing and wear a mask, I just spread that cough around the whole theater. Luckily there were only about 3 other people at the matinee but still... anyone who was there, I am really sorry. But I digress.
I remember sitting in the theater like it was yesterday (near death experiences will do that for you). I was in the middle seat of a middle row in a nearly empty theater. I snuck in my snacks and drink (I was 25 and broke... no way I was spending $5 on a popcorn... yes it used to only be $5). Within the first few minutes of the movie, it happened. I almost died.
How did this near death experience happen you might ask? Well you see, there is this one scene in the movie when Happy Gilmore goes to the batting cages. He steps in... with no bat. And then he proceeds to let the balls just hit him in the chest in an effort to toughen up for his career as a hockey thug. I still don't know why it struck me as so funny but each time a ball hit him, I laughed more and more. The scene continued and I kept laughing. This is wear the cough comes in. I actually started laughing so much that I could not catch my breath. I literally thought I was going to become the first person in history to actually "die laughing". Somehow, I did not panic. I just sat there laughing and thinking "well if I'm going to go, this actually isn't a bad way to do it." To this day, I still don't know how I got my breathing under control. It has never happened since that day so I have no way to study it. I once again would like to apologize to the people in the theater who had to endure my near demise. I bet they have very different memories of Happy Gilmore.
So am I looking forward to this sequel? Well yes. I basically am required to be. I no there is no way that it will cause me to laugh so much that I almost die... but that is a good thing. At my age, I might break a hip or never recover.
I'll report back after I watch... if I survive.