It's sometimes hard to understand the long road of life. You don't always know where it's going to take you or if you are even on the right road, but you are where you are whether you like it or not. I have been on quite the the long road lately in my journey of life these past few years and have lost my way more than once. Getting back up and continuing down that road after you fail is never easy but I know how much better life is when you have direction and are working towards a goal or dream rather than just walking through life like a zombie, just existing.
After my most recent huge fail in life it has taken me over 6 months to get through the self pitty, the depression, the anxiety and the urge to just give up. I finally feel like I have taken some control back of my life with my morning routine. I wake up every morning around 6am, while I'm waking up for the day I read something positive for about an hour and then at 7am go for a 4 mile walk with my dog Rosko. While on this the walk I try to think about my goals for the day, I think about who I need to be to tackle the day, I think about my past, my present and how I want my future to be. It is a great time to just take in nature and really let my mind wonder.
After my walk, I take my other dog Loki down to an empty field and play fetch with him because he loves fetch and hates walks. This gives me a little bit more time to decide what needs to be accomplished for the day. I make a mental checklist of all the chores I want to accomplish, the work out I want to do, the bills I want to pay, the steemit post I want to write and in what order I want to get things done. By the time most people are getting up in the morning I have already had over a hour and a half of activity in.
When I get done with the dogs I start working out right away, I hate working out with ever fiber in my body but I love how I feel when I am done so I just get it done. I don't kill myself, I do enough to make sure I will feel it the next morning, I add reps every week so I am always improving and always pushing myself. That's the secret I found to working out, don't over do it, don't under do it, make realistic goals and COMPLETE the workout every time! It will make you feel great and it will keep you coming back instead of just quitting it.
While I'm working out I listen to motivational speeches, I know it sounds dumb but the truth is they really inspire me to be a better person and to continue pushing forward in life even when it seems like all the cards are stacked against me. Once you listen to a bunch of them you will start to see the pattern, they all basically say the same thing but sometimes I need to hear people telling me not to quit, not to give up, to get back up when I fall and to keep going towards my goals even if no one else understands. One of my favorite quotes that is constantly said is:
Win your morning and you will win the day!
That is what I am working on right now, winning my morning and day by day things are getting a little bit better, a little bit easier and things are starting to work out and fall into place. It's not so much about what you are doing, just that you are doing something, being proactive instead of reactive. "It is better to be prepared for an opportunity that hasn't come yet then to not be ready and let an opportunity to pass you by." I don't know what I want or what I am working towards but I feel like I will know when the time comes. Life is a funny thing, everything is about perspective and when you take care of yourself and have a routine your perspective is instantly better regardless of your situation.
I still have a long way to go, but this past month has been a great start to getting back to being the happy go lucky hippie that everyone loves. I find myself smiling more and getting angry less. I find myself shaking off negativity faster and not letting small things that I have no control over ruin my day. And I always try to remember that
Worrying is like a rocking chair..... It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere!
So if you are trying to improve your life, you have to remember your not going to just wake up one day and feel like fixing yourself, change is always hard, you have to force yourself to get things done! You have to force yourself to change, or nothing will ever change. But I promise you if you put in the effort and refuse to let depression and anxiety get the best of you then you will beat it and you will find happiness again!
