In 2011 I deployed to Afghanistan as part of a 30 man team of advisors. Before our deployment, we spent 6 months training and developing our skills as advisors and facilitators something that was outside of our scope professionally.
During my time as an advisor, I was trained in the use of an interpreter and learned techniques to use to build rapport with a partnered organization. These experiences have helped me immensely during my first two months as an entrepreneur who is running a startup on a shoestring budget because I recognize that nine times out of ten my fellow business owners are not direct competition and even if they are we can often help drive traffic to each other and coexist in these trying times.
Instead of a primary focus on being competitive in a way that puts us at odds, I believe that inclusiveness and collaboration are the way to go. My closest competitor is a beautiful coffee shop 1/2 a Kilometer from my business, their strengths are design and immersion in coffee culture our strengths are our marketing and ability to plan and host events that draw crowds. We are looking to host a joint movie night next to their cafe strengthening our connection to the community and giving both businesses a way to promote. If we only viewed things as direct competition these opportunities wouldn't exist.
I came to realize that, we have our lists of wants and professional goals but it is very easy to overlook the main thing we should be investing in, people and relationships. Failing to cultivate relationships within your sphere of influence is almost like working against yourself.
Before the first request is made or the first transaction is set into motion, ideally, a relationship should be built. This can be as simple as a regular interaction by the water cooler but you have to build a picture of yourself as more than your professional role to reduce the difficulty of everyday life.
In my civilian life, as the owner of a coworking space and restaurant, I see the benefits of building rapport and cultivating relationships daily. Often the service or item you would pay a high amount for is offered by someone at an affordable price sitting and working in the same cafe as you.
We get so focused on what we have to do, that we forget or fail to prioritize the things that are crucial, we are social animals and learning to create situations where we can genuinely bond with others.
Coworking and the techniques that are being developed in co-working spaces get us to lift our heads up from our laptops long enough to realize that our work lives can be easier and more rewarding if we become slightly less insular and more collaborative.
These tips seem simple but once we are knee-deep in stress, work, or trying situations we often forget the simple things as our survival and basic instincts take over. If you take nothing from this article remember to always RESET. Running late to work and just came through the door ....RESET, just had a tense conversation with a supplier RESET take the time to re-center yourself, set your intention, and focus on your next task often we are not at our best because we charge headlong into each task with any time for reflection and making sure we are heading into the next situation with the best energy possible.
Make eye contact and warm up with the person you want to work with. Does this sound too simple...yes, do enough people do it regularly..... no. Build rapport to the best of your ability and try to work on your ability to connect even if this has been a personal challenge for you.
Check your appearance and non-verbal communication, talking to you needs to be pleasant and less of a rushed experience. A general rule is to dress a tiny bit better than your counterparts, this subconsciously builds trust but don't overdress as this can be taken the wrong way and can make people subconsciously defensive before you even speak your first word. This is simple but I have seen and been on the receiving end of when things go south in regards to this, Reset several times a day (appearance, hygiene, and intentions)
Reset mentally before and after every major setback and win, high or low. Don't go into your next interaction with the energy of the last interaction. I compare it to getting off a rollercoaster, are you too high or too low energy? both grate on people so reset, reset.
Don't overdo it, when we try new things like being mindful of how we work with others we overcompensate. It takes practice to maintain an even approach to our interactions.
Create Experiences- If you don't have a work culture that promotes relationship and rapport building YOU need to promote it with other like-minded people. Make a genuine effort to build rapport and co-work. Workshops, talks, scheduled coffees all these things can be turned into opportunities to bond
I will be continuing this series and talking more about how co-working and rapport building can help in the professional environment please share any thoughts you might have or questions you might want me to tackle.