The question is if there was nothing to stop you...
- if you didn't have to make ends meet...
- if you didn't have to have money to get what you want...
- if you didn't have a family or responsibilities to look after...
- if there were no laws at all...
- if even time and space couldn't get in your way...
- if SANTA WAS REAL
What would you get? What would you do? Who would you be?
Some people say that dreaming is unproductive. If you dream too much you end up staying in that dream and not doing much with your real life. They could be right. Certainly I have become so attached to dreams that I get myself down over them being so out of reach.
When I was in primary school (school for age 5 - 13 where I'm from) I used to get letters home all the time warning my parents that I spend too much time day dreaming. I got in trouble so often for it that I eventually did teach myself to focus on the things the teacher told me were important to know.
But a funny thing happened... Maybe my childhood has nothing to do with it. I loved telling stories as a child. I told a lot of lies too, I loved them so much. I had one teacher who encouraged me to never stop writing stories. But every other teacher just discouraged me from using my imagination and I'm convinced to this day that it had a negative effect on it. I'm not a writer. I'm not very creative. But I know I was born very imaginative.
I often dream about doing big things, and for the most of my life these things were strictly to remain dreams as I trained myself to see my wild imagination as a distraction from life. Around this time 3 years ago I made a decision that changed everything.
Life is too short!
I've certainly been unhappy plenty of times in my life but I'm unsure if I was ever depressed. If I ever were depressed then it was this time three years ago that I began to realise it. I had done 2 months of travelling across Europe the summer before and you could say I was suffering from post-vacation blues for quite some time after. By the time I realised that I was miserable I was underweight and had made myself ill. I felt weak all the time. I felt like there was no meat to me. I wasn't anorexic or purging and I certainly never wanted to lose weight - but I always struggled to gain weight and through my misery I neglected to maintain a healthy weight.
My new resolution was simple.
- Forget about work!
- Forget what your parents will think!
- Forget about the future!
- Just work on getting well.
I decided I had 2 things to address. My happiness and my health. I wasn't sure how I was going to address them both, but I thought we'll just try something and if it doesn't work we'll try something else.
I got lucky...
The first thing that caught my eye on facebook was the answer...
I couldn't remember how I started following this person on facebook but she was a burlesque and pole dancer, and when I saw this photo it grabbed me and wouldn't let go.
I wanted to feel strong! I wanted to feel alive!
In the first week of the new year I joined the Irish Pole Dance Academy thinking that I would hate it and move on to find something else. But it became my new obsession. Along with some help from added protein it didn't take too much effort to get my appetite back and I put back on a stone within the first 2 months. I was also taking up other sports. Mainly anything that could help my flexibility at first as I was very conscious of my lack of elegance on the pole. I've tried bits of ballet and martial arts just to mix it up. Soon my pole obsession became an aerial obsession and I began attending aerial arts classes and aerial festivals.
Here's an example of what I learned in April of that year as a beginner.
For the past 3 years I have been dedicated to surrounding myself with the things I love. I'm not going to pretend I'm never unhappy as a result, life does get in the way of our dreams - but what I can tell you is that this time 3 years ago I never would have thought I would be the person I am now or have done the things I've done.
Training guide dogs for the blind was something I always wanted to do as a kid but when I started living paycheque to paycheque I put a lot of things away as dreams that cannot be until I'm settled with a steady career.
I play host to tourists in my humble abode just outside Dublin and I love it.
Another dream of mine is to fly and this year I took my very first flying lesson!
I'm 27 years of age and I'm working on my splits and back bends!!
It's nuts!
I've learned that dreaming is worthwhile, you just need to take the time to make your dreams a reality. And so to answer the original question of this post...
OK, brace yourselves because it's about to get ridiculous!!
If I could have and do and be whatever I wanted I would get my private pilot license. I would get myself a private jet, big enough to sleep in and keep my motorcycle on. I would have a house in Slovenia, a house in Croatia, a house in Finland, a house in Switzerland, a house in the south of France and a house on the west coast of Ireland. I would travel everywhere by plane, bike or boat. I'd stay in Slovenia for the hospitality, Croatia for the weather, Finland if I ever had kids, Switzerland just to learn about their political system, the south of France just to feel GLAM and then the house in Ireland to take people surfing!!
My home would be a mess of aerial equipment. I would rarely come down the stairs because I would have a pole that I can slide down from the openplan balcony and a rope to shimmy back up. I would teach yoga and aerial arts and rent out the rooms and houses to tourists. They say if you love your work you'll never work a day in your life. I'd also run a theatre company and produce circus arts with my fellow aerial artists and maybe even host some burlesque shows.
Did you write all that down Santa?!
More important than all that though, is that at 86 years of age, I want to be as strong and healthy as this woman so that I can keep doing what I love most.
