It appears that everything we do in this life is tied to a result in a universe that cannot change... Therefore cannot improve.
Voice Of People Today
You see, this is exactly what I told my therapist on Monday when he asked me how I was doing overall. I looked at him square in the eyes and said;
"I realized... That I cannot change or improve the future.
—But that's because I can't touch it.
Now if we're talking about the present, that's perfectly fine to be changing around."
I believe that I have one more session before my "treatment" is completed. I've reached a version of reality where I'm at a level of zero depression and anxiety. It's been a long time coming, and it wasn't like I was about to tell my doctors that I may have scrambled my own head by simply pondering quantum immortality and timeline shifting c; That could have ended rather badly.
In returning, I have a few theories regarding our understanding and relationships with different timelines, and time itself. Our comprehension, perception and relationship with time appears to be flawed.
Lotus Wei
It Began in Meditation
Which may or may not sound like the most boring thing in the world, but you'd be surprised that your best vacation destination may as well be in your own mind. It's somewhat widely accepted that you shouldn't lay in bed to meditate... Y'know, something or another creating a unique energy/ atmosphere for it. Well, if I'm not going to be falling straight to sleep anyway, I don't see a problem in it. Either a meditation session or good sleep—it's a win/win situation.
With fewer stimuli seeping into our senses, we begin to analyze the details we would have otherwise missed. What new information could there be if you are staying still? You can actually watch your thoughts. After doing several sessions of simply returning to my own breath, I began to let my thoughts play through... The difficult part in this, was letting them be and not trying to change them in any way.
The Odd Mattress Company
A Memory Requires a Rememberer
Memory is a weird thing, with each recall, they get "repainted" by the understanding of new experiences and their relationship to the original event. This is why something you have been upset or sad about before can become nostalgic. You are essentially rewriting that original memory. The source event no longer exists because there is no one left to remember it that way—this, I believe is why two people can recall the same memory but both be completely different.
Watching memory replays without changing a thing takes practice. Imagining non-existent scenarios without any information is an "express call to doubt" and even harder to remain still. You can predict things to an extent, but there is no knowing the future. In this world, reaching the nostalgic version of a memory that is too distant from the present moment creates depression and regret.
You can feel the energy of the past but everything in your now stays the same. Let's remember the last time you went to your favorite restaurant. No matter how vividly you can replay the last time you did it, you can remember it all day and you won't appear there, the food won't appear in front of you. Tragic, I know! You would have to do something in the present moment to change it.
Even better let's go into the future. An obviously hypothetical universe in which your homework that you didn't start but is due sometime soon. You only imagine, how taxing it is—you feel doubt because you don't actually know for sure, you aren't doing it in the present moment. You become anxious and filled with neuroticism because you can speculate all you want, but no matter how you think you do, you won't know the outcome until it's finished and graded. Thinking of running a mile makes most people tired, you ever wonder why?
My suspicion is this, in society, we are conditioned to use up most of our energy in situations that appear appropriate, but are designed to drain our vitality. How's that for a conspiracy theory? It might sound far-fetched, but it becomes obvious once you understand how it happens. When you visualize time in a spatial manner, you realize that in order to entertain thoughts at a distance, you need to be able to provide the energy to match!
Collider
Past and Future is An Illusion to Drain Energy
I'm here right now, and nowhere else. Photos, data, and literature train us to look back into the past and give it stronger bearings in the present than what should be allowed. We plan and struggle towards a future that we don't even know will be achievable later down the line. One fuck up on your schedule to success and you could instantly feel like a failure. Depression and anxiety to me, is what happens when all energy is expended everywhere else but the present.
I Got Pulled Into a New Reality
This series was about me trying to reach a specific timeline, but since then this quest has changed. Answer me this; how can you choose your next reality if you aren't even control of your current one? Almost completely isolated, I wrote to my Facebook wall that;
"I wish I was dead."
One of my friends (who we shall now call J) and I haven't spoken to in a very long time. He chose the same day to share a view of his room, and all of their rhythm gaming hardware that he knew I would appreciate. It completely curbed my thoughts in a different direction and I appreciated it. For me, that was the part of my life I enjoyed the most, but was convinced were only memories of the past.
J chose to be the rememberer. His actions were not to show me these things as a throwback to a before that no longer existed, but to show me his current reality knowing I would care just as much right now. This broke the illusion and I started to ask myself;
"Am I that person at this moment?"
That whole week leading up to that post I was bedridden, missed an entire week of work and school. What would I have needed to change for the future?
the Milena principle
The answer was absolutely nothing
I looked to my Facebook profile overran with depression and isolation and realized that although this is technically me... Another one exists. A bubbly and far stronger version and that's who his message was for. I didn't need to take any steps to shift, because this other me already existed in that exact same moment. I logged out and swapped my account.
You may not understand what I'm implying here, but suddenly going from 100 to over 4000 friends, where your voice has weight can change your perception and available choices instantly. I didn't stop there, it was the first experience I had completely suspending a reality I didn't desire. Remembering allows you to see the actions available in the present where things can actually be done, there is a purpose.
Denying that entire week, I walked into work and asked for double the number of shifts. Allowing no influence from this choice to leak in from past experiences. I walked into our building's gym and signed up. I may not be at my ideal body anytime soon, but fuck it— the version of reality where I go to the gym is one that CAN exist today.
I feel that once we understand and lift the veil on what cannot be altered, we differentiate what can be. By learning this, I've begun to shift timelines again using a different method... and I'm starting to get different results.
If you liked this article, be sure to check out some of my other posts!
Shello's Guide to Creating Altered States of Consciousness and Slowing Down Thought
The Extended Guide To Quantum Immortality That You Didn't Know You Needed
