Christmas of the children of separated parents: how to better manage the parties
Christmas is a moment of joy, joy and celebration for everyone, adults and children. The little ones wait anxiously for the moment of holidays to recover their energy and to experience the magic of Christmas holidays. Adults, for their part, are finally waiting a few days' rest from work. When mum and dad are separated, however, it could be more complex. The Christmas of the children of separated parents can turn into yet another chance for confrontation. It is precisely for this reason that it is important to be careful about certain details, in order to avoid the conflict being exacerbated and the moment of celebration becoming a source of anxiety and concern. Children absorb the parents' emotions as sponges. There is a risk, therefore, that the tension of mum and dad can be transmitted involuntarily to children.
For the good of children, parents must agree on how best to manage the parties. Despite marital breakage, it is the right and duty of every parent to continue to play his or her role. As with the choices of daily life, the Christmas of the children of separated parents must be organized with a view to the well-being of their children and their serenity. Although this may mean, for parents, to put aside past resentments and doing some renunciation.
CHRISTMAS OF CHILDREN OF SEPARATED PARENTS: 3 PRACTICAL TIPS
- CONDIVIDERE. It is important that parents agree in advance on the organisation of Christmas holidays. This allows you to share your choices with the little one in advance. Helping the child to mentalize how he or she will be punctuated on his or her feast days helps him or her to organize himself or herself and understand what he or she will have to do. This is very important because even children, like adults, have their own commitments and need to organise themselves during the Christmas holidays.
COINVOLGERE. Children should be involved in the choices. However, we should avoid questions such as âWith whom do you want to be at Christmasâ? Children do not have to choose, but they must be involved. Interrogators of this kind, in fact, risk pulling in the middle of the little one, who may feel divided between mother and father. This can lead to conflicts of loyalty that can have very negative consequences. It is important, however, to put oneself in the shoes of the little one and empathize with him, meeting his needs and desires. This is only possible by listening to it in an authentic way, setting aside grudges and conflicts. If, for example, the child wants to be with his father on Christmas Eve because there will also be his cousins, it would be a nice gesture to propose this solution ourselves. It is important, in fact, to always transmit joy and serenity, avoiding making us see ourselves sad and sad for these choices.
FOR PARENTS FOREVER. Nowadays, technology allows us to do unimaginable things just ten years ago. We use the latest technological innovations in our favour, sharing, even if at a distance, moments of joy with one or the other parent. A call, a photo of the gifts or table set up are small strategies to transmit concretely, and not only in words, that mum and dad will always continue to be and to be parents.
THE BIRTHDAY OF CHILDREN OF SEPARATED PARENTS: A MOMENT OF JOY FOR EVERYONE
Separation is a complex and painful event that disrupts the whole family system. It is very difficult, especially at the beginning, to set aside grudges and revenge. The need to focus on children's wellbeing helps shift the focus on resources. The well-being of children must be the shared objective. Even if it is very difficult, it is important to live and make children enjoy the moment of the holidays.