How often have you heard grown-ups say "it's just a phase" when you as a teenager are going through some difficulties dealing with yourself? It sounds like a careless remark and makes you feel that what you are experiencing is trivial.
Dealing with Teenage Emotions
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The fact is, it is common for teenagers to be moody, jealous, frustrated, and insecure. Teenage life can be confusing because it is a transitional stage. It is during this phase when feelings run strong and high.
How do you deal with such feelings?
First, come up with an honest list of the things you like and do not like about yourself. Then ask yourself these questions: Can i change what i do not like? How? How can i live with what i do not like but cannot change?
Let off steam. Face the feeling you do not want and release it in harmless ways. For instance, when you are mad at your friend, do a few laps in the pool, play a round of basketball, or engage in some other kind of sports activity to calm yourself down.
It is also advisable to talk to someone older whom you can trust such as a parent, a grandparent, a favorite teacher, a guidance counselor, or a trusted friend before doing something that might cause more conflict and misunderstanding. Do not bottle up your feelings. If you do, that nasty feeling might just drive you to do unpleasant things that will make you sorry.
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If something you used to enjoy stops being fun, take a break. Find something else to preoccupy you for some time before going back to it so that you will feel refreshed.
Set goals for you to achieve. But do things through steps that you know you can manage. Be realistic. Do not push yourself to the limit or you might just find yourself slipping. If you want to improve your grades, for example, try to review your lessons every day after school rather than cramming it up on the night before an exam.
If you are bored or depressed, try doing something new. Perhaps you can learn a new sport or join the church choir. A new environment can be refreshing. Plan something that you can look forward to each day.
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Admirable Personal Values among Teenagers
James, Chris, and Marie are typical teenagers who constantly seek fun and enjoyment amid hectic school schedules and household obligations. They always find time to hang around for a little while with their friends after school, even for small chats. On weekends, right after they have done all their house chores, movie trips, group biking, and window shopping make up the rest of their day.
One Monday morning, a member of a non-governmental organization arrived in their school to announce a relief operations program for the region which was recently hit by a strong typhoon. "They need help," the relief worker announced. "Anything of use," she said. "would be greatly appreciated by thousands of victims who were left homeless, without enough food, and lacking in many other basic needs. Many of them are sick and some even lost their loved ones."
After hearing the announcement, Marie and James went from room to room, seeking the assistance of everyone through contributions: clothes, canned goods, rice, medicine, blankets, etc. Chris, on the other hand, was able to launch a fund-raising campaign by soliciting the help of their local government unit. With the help of their friends, they were able to raise a considerable amount of money.
James, Chris, and Marie took an extra step by leading a significant number of volunteers tasked to distribute the goods they had collected that week. The long trip was not at all comfortable, but when the group arrived, they were eager not only to give the material things they had brought with them but also to provide comfort and hope for the victims.
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These young people showed compassion by caring about those they have never even met before. They may be fun-loving individuals, but when the need arises, they are always there to offer themselves to help.
But one does not really need a disaster to help or show compassion to others. There are truly desirable traits that teenagers can express in simple everyday acts. Helping an elderly woman board a vehicle or a blind man to cross the street or just hearing out a friend who has a problem; these may be simple acts of kindness, but they demonstrate a genuine sense of compassion for others.
Here are other desirable values that you should develop as a teenager:
- Love and respect for parents and siblings - It is normal for family members to have disagreements. Parents and children may not agree on policies at home and siblings may argue over the most trivial things. Even the parents themselves may have misunderstandings. These disagreemenets, however, are usually settled in time. The love that binds parents and children together makes them supportive of one another. It is admirable to see parents and children helping one another in times of trouble and celebrating together in times of success.
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- Respect for oneself - People who respect themselves seek the company of other people who provide mental stimulation and sound spiritual and emotional influences. focus on activities that enhance your personality and strengthen your body.
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Hard work and perseverance - Nothing comes easy in life. Dreams are achieved by hard work. Despite failures and obstacles along the way, learn to persevere , seek solutions to problems, and reach for the stars.
Respect for different cultures - Some cultures may seem strange. The food, manner of speaking, style of dressing, or behavioral traits of some groups of people from other countries may be very different. Some sectors laugh and make fun of those differences, not understanding that such are intrinsic to the history and culture of these people. Remember that each culture is unique and must be respected.
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- Respect for friends - True friendships are anchored on trust and on an individual's sensitivity to other people's feelings and needs. Friendships often start with common interests. Two people who are interested in the same sport, hobby, or field of study usually spend more time together. Eventually, if two individuals get along, they begin to depend on each other for emotional and social support.
Common Teenage Problems and Concerns
Teenagers, like older people, also worry about things. They have their set of problems and issues. What exactly do teenagers today worry about? Below are common teenage problems and concerns every parent should know and understand.
1. Grooming - As their bodies continue to change, teenagers become more and more conscious of their physical appearance. They put on clothes and accessories they think would best suit them. They decide on hairstyles that would look good on them. They try new things that will make them feel good physically. They may like putting on makeup or hair gel or going to beauty salons for a manicure or the latest hairstyle.
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2. Self-esteem - Some teenagers suffer from insecurities during the period in their lives. Because of the bodily changes they undergo, they become conscious of their physical appearance. Their self-confidence gets affected.
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3. Peer pressure - Failure to keep up with friends may cause emotional problems such as insecurity and lack of self-confidence.
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4. Communication gap - This happens when both parents and children stop communicating with one another. Several factors cause communication breakdown, the most common of which is the lack of absence of time for one another. This is a serious problem that should be addressed immediately before it destroys relationships.
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5. Overindependence - Young people sometimes want to do things on their own. They want to decide for themselves. They demand space and privacy from their parents. Demands such as these sometimes create a strain on relationships. Oftentimes, failure to understand each other causes a relationship to fall apart.
Parents play a very important role in helping their teenage children cope with their problems. A family council is one way for parents to reach out to their children. It can be a venue for children to seek their parents' guidance when facing certain problems. Parents can share with their children their opinions or suggestions that will guide them in solving their problems.
Teenagers can cope with problems easily if they are guided properly by their parents and other elders.
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References:
https://www.teenzeen.org/managing-teen-emotions.html
https://www.rootsofaction.com/role-model/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-3271483/It-normal-teenagers-stroppy-learning-regulate-emotions.html
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/randi-hutter-epstein/how-to-talk-to-your-teenage-daughter_b_4384380.html
https://www.thriftyfun.com/Weekend-Activities-for-Teens-1.html
http://www.beyoupromise.org/peer-pressure-what-do-you-do/
https://www.grandparents.com/health-and-wellbeing/kids-health-and-wellbeing/boost-granddaughter-self-esteem-tricks
-Steemit Digest