Source: https://unsplash.com/search/photos/joy
So this morning, I am happy....
For what seems like the first time in forever I am genuinely happy, the boulder that I carry on my shoulders seems to have shifted away, and I feel like I have regained my balance a little.
"But Rick, you miserable sod, what could possibly made you happy?"
well... (here we go again, starting a sentence with well...) connection, it's connection that has made me happy. You know that feeling when something you have wanted so much it physically hurt?
For some people that comes from the need for a promotion at work, A high grade on an exam, getting that long awaited book.... For me it was a person, I am privileged to have amazing people around me, all of them beautiful in their own way; all of them selfless care free people that are truly amazing for my mental health.
Recently, I have seen someone a different way, and that was reciprocated.
So to quote one of my favourite poems "Kaloo Kalay, oh frabjous day." (bonus marks if you can guess the poem.)
Though feeling this way has got me to thinking; (which admittedly is often a dangerous thing to do.)
Happiness, isn't it funny how something as trivialised as "Happy" can lead to some amazingly contrasting results; for me living on that depressive slide of mud, the idea of just getting up in the morning is a hard thing to do (granted everyone feels that way.) I am unmotivated in my work, striking conversation is a tough task that feels genuinely impossible at time.
If you read yesterdays post, you would know that I arrived at work around 8am-8:30am (with a starting time of 7am.) after fighting with my alarm for a solid two hours or so, this morning however I knew it would be an amazing.
This morning;
- alarm went off, I got up straight away.
- its 5 am at this point, I sat on my balcony slowly drinking my morning coffee.
*getting flash backs from the amazing night I had previously.
*Got butterfly's in my stomach thinking.
*made lunch and went to work
*Arriving at 6:55 am That's right you read that correctly, I got to work at 6:55; that's right, I was EARLY!!!!!! May hell freeze over and we all prosper as a result. It's truly is a magnificent thing, the reality of a mental shift bringing on so many changes, it's amazing to think how many things we are not achieving as a result of our depression.
That's not to say that we don't battle through, and make the absolute best of the situation we have on hand.
This is just such a strange feeling for me, the last thing I think I felt this way was when my youngest child was born. So yeah, today... A good day. I truly hope that today has been a good day for you too.
I would love to hear about your day so please comment, I have also noticed a large amount of new readers on this blog, So please subscribe if you enjoy the ramblings of a mad man, and I look forward to sharing a brain fart with you again soon. Thank you Rick.